[dropcap]I[/dropcap] was in the shower, scrubbing my underarms, humming a Lionel Richie tune, and pondering the infield fly, when I heard a loud voice.

“Come here!”Jamie yelled from the other room. “I need you, right now!”

It sounded quite serious.

As quickly as I was able, I shut the shower off, and patted myself dry. I sprinted out to the den as naked as a milkshake, only to find our neighbor, Latoya, standing at the front door, holding an empty measuring cup.

She wanted to borrow some sugar.

Latoya shrieked.

“Oh, don’t worry about him,” Jamie explained. “That dummy will probably write a story about this on Facebook.”

This is that story.

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