Ladies and Girls

You need new clothes, new shoes, and it'd be nice if you could find a pair of better-fitting, more expensive jeans. Your skin is old-looking, you need a tan, a firmer hindsection, lose that baby-weight, and wax those forearms.

Girls. The world owes you an apology. The television, the magazines, the news reports, and all mankind. They’ve done you wrong. And I, for one, am sorry about it.

They’re trying to kill you. And once they’ve finished, they’re going after your daughters.

Don’t believe me? Just flip on the TV. They say you’re not sexy enough. You’re overweight. Your swimsuit isn’t tiny enough. Your hair should be blonder, darker, straighter, and you need more volume.

Not only that, but you’re dowdy. Your lips are too small; hips too big. You’ve got bags under your eyes, your teeth could be whiter, chest bigger, arms less flabby, midsection tighter.

I’m just warming up.

You need new clothes, new shoes, and it’d be nice if you could find a pair of better-fitting, more expensive jeans. Your skin is old-looking, you need a tan, a firmer hindsection, lose that baby-weight, and wax those forearms.

You talk too much. You don’t cook enough. You’re not strict enough with your kids. You need regular exercise twice per hour.

You need more school, more credibility, more accredited classes, more professional know-how, management skills, leadership training, certifications, administrative growth.

And for God’s sake, get a little confidence.

You drink too much coffee, not enough coconut water. You consume too much butter, not enough palm oil. You don’t eat quinoa, pomegranate, kale, bone broth, kambucha, brewer’s yeast.

What’s wrong with you? Are you trying to kill yourself?

You eat too much bacon, butter, ham, beef, cheese, potatoes, and fried chicken. Clean up your diet. Clean up your potty mouth. And fold that laundry.

Read this book—everyone’s reading it. Go see that movie—it’s the most important film of our decade. Keep up with current events. Sign your boy up for every sporting team available. Make sure your daughter practices piano.

Hate these people, they deserve it. Don’t talk to her, she’s got a bad reputation. Never give handouts to the homeless—you don’t know how they’ll spend it. Trust no one. Question everything.

Don’t believe in God. Instead, tell people you’re spiritual.

You’re too young. You’re too old. You’re too tall, too short, too uneducated, too talkative, too shy, too serious, too silly, too stupid, too weak, too ugly, too narrow-minded, too outside-the-box, too unmotivated.

They are telling you who you are and what you should be doing. You’ve seen them in every checkout-aisle magazine, internet ad, and underwear commercial. There’s no way you could miss them, they’re practically shouting at you from each corner of the room.

Well, I hope you’re still listening, girls. Because now it’s my turn to say something.

They’re liars. Every damn one. And they owe you an apology.

Because there is no such thing as imperfection.

22 comments

  1. Carol DeLater - January 4, 2017 12:02 pm

    You had me for a minute. Until you said I’m perfect. Poor word choice. The point is I’m NOT perfect…not by a long shot. But I don’t HAVE to be. I don’t WANT to be. But I got your message. Unfortunately at 65 I spent a few years trying to be until I learned to love me.

    Love reading what you have to say.

    Reply
    • Beth Mott - January 21, 2017 3:27 pm

      I think he meant you’re perfect the way you are. There is no one “perfect”. Accept yourself, love yourself as you are.

      Reply
  2. Vicki - January 4, 2017 1:34 pm

    Thank you! It’s taken me 50+ years to figure this out. I don’t read magazines, they are chocked full of this propaganda. I can’t watch tv without 50 commercials telling me the same thing. I’ve decided to just be my perfectly imperfect self. I love your posts. You’re real and seem to love life and people that fill it. Again, thank you.

    ~ Vicki

    Reply
  3. Judy - January 4, 2017 2:00 pm

    TV ads, and shows, have done the same to men–especially Dads. Gone are the days of “Father Knows Best”. Now Dads are portrayed as stupid and fumbling, deserving only an eye-roll from wife and kids.

    Reply
  4. Joby norman - January 4, 2017 10:44 pm

    I am 67 and have never heard anybody as glad to be alive as you! Thanks for sharing your Love.

    Reply
  5. EB - January 21, 2017 2:35 pm

    Wonderful message — I appreciate your thoughts. I, too, was raised by women.

    I’d note that these contradictory and often damaging messages sent to the women in our world aren’t just from magazines and advertisements. The screams from the corners are often real and coming from those closest to us.

    It’s high time we support women, both young and old, in their pursuits and encourage an enjoyment of life the same as we do with boys and men.

    Reply
  6. Kim Early - January 21, 2017 3:42 pm

    I’m a therapist, Sean. I’m going to share this because every word you write is true. I see the damage this “perfection” culture has inflicted on women everyday. Thanks so much for your insights and your heart to share them.

    Reply
    • Gerald - April 4, 2017 1:09 pm

      Thank you for posting. I have no idea how Sean got so grounded and level headed but if more people would read his posts we would have a better world.

      Reply
      • Carolyn - April 6, 2017 10:32 pm

        Amen, Gerald!

        Reply
  7. Pamela - January 21, 2017 4:16 pm

    Thank you Sean you speak the truth . And I appreciate it.

    Reply
  8. Deb - January 21, 2017 5:31 pm

    Thanks Sean. I’m perfectly fine not being perfect.

    Reply
  9. Karen - April 4, 2017 11:38 am

    I appreciate this more than you know. I’m proud of who I am – although not necessarily proud of every choice. I’m hard on myself…but I’ve used that grit to take me higher than I’d dreamed. I’ve finally settled on being the “best version of myself possible” and letting that be that. I have so enjoyed your writing every morning and own five of your books I purchased from Amazon. Please keep writing your heart, what you observe, and what is real in this world. As a 54 year old woman, daughter, mother, and soon to be grandmother…I can tell you that one of my proudest decisions was demanding that NO magazine other than Shape (which has gone downhill since) be allowed in this house. My daughter was taught what real beauty is. And she is about as gorgeous a mother to be as they come. 🙂

    Reply
  10. Jenni - April 4, 2017 12:51 pm

    Thank you Sean once again for an encouraging and uplifting start to the day!

    Reply
  11. Catherine - April 4, 2017 1:49 pm

    Think I just decided to go grey.

    Reply
  12. Angie - April 4, 2017 2:48 pm

    Thanks so much for writing this. Females are subjected to a great deal more scrutiny than males. I am proud that you are man enough to notice this. So many men don’t.

    Reply
  13. Amanda Isalee - April 4, 2017 3:49 pm

    Somewhere along the line, pretty is as pretty does, took a hard left.

    Leaving us ladies searching for the healer in a good bottle of concealer.

    It took me nearly 40 years to pilfer through quite a few. Lord forgive me for that but thank you for the comfort and knowledge….the men folk have plenty of imperfections too!

    Here’s to imperfections and those of us with enough sense to spitshine them and put them on display.

    Most of all thank you Sean for giving us ladies a much better day!

    Reply
  14. Tory - April 4, 2017 3:53 pm

    Love your stories to pieces! But…unless you are literally writing to little girls, referring to women as girls is not cool. It subconsciously makes us into silly, giggling, children.

    Reply
  15. Patti Lynn - April 4, 2017 4:42 pm

    Thank you so much for the kind and truthful words. Our middle daughter almost starved herself to death because some 6th-7th grade boys told her she was fat. No matter what her father and I told her, it didn’t line up with what she saw on tv, and in magazines. She didn’t stop until bones were sticking out, and she still saw fat. I’m very happy to report that after many years of therapy and counseling, she is a healthy, happy 21 year old. I know that some girls do not make it out of the nightmare known as anorexia/bulimia. I am so grateful and it still makes me happy to see her eating. A lot of church of God and Baptist prayers went up for her. Many of us older gals need to be reminded of this every now and then too. ? All of that just to say it sure was nice to hear today. I love your writings and look forward to the new articles daily. Keep up the good work Sir. You are encouraging so many with your truthful words and wonderful stories about your life. ❤

    Reply
  16. Katharine - April 4, 2017 4:47 pm

    Thank you for this !

    Reply
  17. Amanda Isalee - April 4, 2017 9:36 pm

    Somewhere along the line, pretty is as pretty does, took a hard left.

    Leaving us ladies searching for the healer in a good bottle of concealer.

    It took me nearly 40 years to pilfer through quite a few. Lord forgive me for that but thank you for the comfort and knowledge….the men folk have plenty of imperfections too!

    Here’s to imperfections and those of us with enough sense to spitshine them and put them on display.

    Most of all thank you Sean for giving us ladies a better day!

    Reply
  18. Catherine Weed - April 5, 2017 12:09 am

    Love! And Amen!

    Reply
  19. Kaybaby1955 - April 5, 2017 1:38 am

    Sean, you’re perfect !!!

    Reply

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