Minding my Business

My wife and I were standing in line at Walmart, when she realized that she’d forgotten to buy cat litter. She left me holding our position in line while she jogged to the back of the store. I stood there minding my own business.

As soon as Jamie left, a young girl joined the checkout line behind me. The girl had two cases of beer, a few koozies, and some flip flops. She initiated a friendly conversation by making an insightful remark about our weather.

I was hesitant to speak to the girl, knowing that my wife would return in a few moments carrying an armful of chemical-free, natural clay.

However, by in large, I greatly enjoy invigorating meteorological discussions, so I gave in, and we chatted. Then, the girl asked me about fishing, and I lost self-control. I launched into an exciting, mostly true tale regarding the largest redfish that I’ve ever grappled.

Be as it may, my epic was cut short when Jamie returned to the checkout-line. She slammed the kitty litter on the counter, and eyed the young girl behind me. The girl must’ve recognized Jamie as a retired cage fighter, because the girl closed her mouth, and took two steps back from me.

Jamie looked at me and smiled – one of those forced smiles.

“We need to hurry,” Jamie straightened my collar. “Remember, we have to pick your daughter up from the parole officer, and then get to your AA meeting.”

9 comments

  1. Jamie's Friend - April 5, 2015 11:00 am

    I actually know your wife, and have known her for years. She’s too funny.

    Reply
  2. stretch armstrong - April 7, 2015 2:17 am

    That made me laugh.

    Reply
  3. hello - April 7, 2015 11:00 am

    I’ve read this at least ten times, and I laugh each time. Thanks for the stories.

    Reply
  4. Lester Prendell - April 8, 2015 10:01 am

    Bravo. Well done to your wife. Genius response.

    Reply
  5. Mary Ann - April 8, 2015 11:02 am

    Are these even true? If so, they are perfect. I read your blog, and on FB all the time.

    Reply
  6. OMG - April 9, 2015 4:01 am

    AA!!!?!! HA HA HAHAHAHAHAH!!!! KEEP UP THE STORIES, I READ YOU ALL THE TIME!

    Reply
  7. your wife is awesome - April 10, 2015 7:10 am

    your wife sounds like a riot

    Reply
  8. Katie - April 10, 2015 6:21 pm

    This is @#$%^ great!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  9. that woman - April 10, 2015 8:02 pm

    that’s a woman who knows how to play.

    Reply

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