Obnoxious loud-talkers who sit at bars, rank right up there with dogs who lift their legs on your welcome mat.
Take, for instance, the fella at the bar beside me. He launched into a well-rehearsed speech about his world travels. First, the Alps. Then, Belgium, France, Italy, South Africa, Timbuktu.
By then, people at the bar had cleared out.
He asked me, “You done much traveling?”
I shook my head and said, "No, but I've woken up in a cattle pasture."
Loud-Talker rolled his eyes. “See?” he went on. “Now THAT'S your problem. You can't find your true-self unless you TRAVEL!”
So, I paid my tab and traveled my true-self
The truth is, I've never owned a passport, never stepped foot in Canada, and the closest I've come to self-discovery was South Texas in July, where I saw a real mirage.
I'm uninteresting on paper. I concede. But I regret nothing.
My life hasn't been bad. After all, I've known exceptional people. Like my friend who I'll call, Alan. Alan has no face. Nothing but eyes and pink flesh. This happened when he woke up in a burning mobile home. Pieces of the smoldering ceiling fell on his face…