DEAR SEAN:
My grampa is not with us any more, he is been really sick last week and now it’s all over. I don’t know what I’ll do now he’s dead, since he was always my best friend. I really don’t know why I’m tellin you all this, but you seem like it’s ok to do.
Thank you,
THIRTEEN-IN-MONTGOMERY
DEAR THIRTEEN,
If you get nothing else out of my feeble words, please remember my next sentence because I believe your grandfather would want you to know this:
You’re going to be okay.
Now, I don’t know how long this process will take. And I don’t know when it will begin. But the main thing to know is that today is not the end.
When I was your age, after my father died, I made a weird discovery about people. You’re going to think this is absolutely ridiculous, but I’m going to tell you about it anyway. And I do this for a very important reason. To meet my total word count.
As a kid I noticed that whenever people asked other people how they were doing,
they always answered from a list of five basic responses.
So let’s pretend someone asks you the following question:
“How are you?”
Take a moment to think about how you might answer this question right now. Within our culture, here are the five basic answers:
—Not too good.
—I’m fine.
—I’m okay.
—Doin’ pretty good.
—I’m great.
These are deceptively simple responses, but they’re deeper than you might think. And the reason I share these with you is because I suspect you land somewhere on this informal scale right now.
Let’s start with the first: “Not too good.”
This is the most uncommon response. Which is a shame, because it’s often the truth.
When someone asks how you’re doing, people rarely EVER answer, “Not too good.” We humans are…