I receive a lot of questions in the form of emails, private messages, and glacially slow federal mail. There is no way I could answer all these questions, so I have compiled some commonly asked questions into the popular Q-and-A format and answered them here.
I won’t waste any more time.
Q: How in the heck are YOU a writer? No offense, but I’m an English major/teacher/professor/professional writer/constipated person/expert, and your stuff stinks.
A: I appreciate you taking the time to write that. Means a lot.
Q: Wait? Aren’t you gonna argue and try to shut me down?
A: Nah. After all, you made a fair point. My stuff ain’t exactly Joyce. Remember, this writing is something you found on the internet.
Q: So, you mean you think your work is subpar too?
A: Sometimes, sure. Sometimes it reeks.
Q: Then why do you keep writing?
A: Because sometimes it doesn’t.
Q: When I first started following you, I didn’t think you were a spiritual person. But sometimes your writing gets way too spiritual sounding for me, where do you stand on religious things?
A:
Q: Really? You’re not
going to answer that?
A: It doesn’t matter what I believe. What matters is what you believe.
Q: Oh, give me a break. What a cop out. Surely you can tell me your religious views.
A: I don’t believe that heaven waits for only those who congregate. I’d like to think that God is love. He’s down below, He’s up above. He’s watching people everywhere, He knows who does and doesn’t care.
Q: Did you just quote a Don Williams song?
A: You bet your astrological sign I did.
Q: Man, Don Williams was great.
A: Tell me about it. I saw him in concert once in New Orleans when I was young. I had driven all day only to be left standing outside the theater, in the frog-choking rain, because…