Don’t grow up. Not ever. Don’t turn into an adult. That’s my best advice to you. Resist adulthood. Be a kid forever.
Right now, a lot of adults are angry in America. We have a lot to be angry about. Adults can behave badly when they are angry. So please forgive us.
Because the truth is—and I shouldn’t be telling you this—adults can act pretty stupid. Please don’t tell anyone.
Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mean we’re “stupid” in a negative sense. Truly, I don’t. After all, just because someone is stupid doesn’t mean you can’t love them. Take dogs. Dogs are can be very unsmart, but we still love them. Hallmark Channel movies can be ingloriously stupid, but they are also wonderful.
Still, this doesn’t change the fact that we adult humans are, in fact, giant dipsticks. The problem is, of course, that we adults think we are brilliant. The idiot thinks he’s wise, but the truly wise man knows he’s an idiot.
Oh, sure, our species occasionally does some brilliant things here on earth. Beer is only one example.
We’re not total fools. Humankind has, for instance, learned how to manufacture smartphones with touchscreens capable of flushing our toilets from outer space. We can perform surgery from 4,000 miles away through robotic technology. We produced James Brown.
But this doesn’t make us smart. Because we still don’t know how to listen. We don’t empathize. And even though our parents tried to teach us, we still don’t know how to share.
You know what we DO know how to do?
We know how to kill each other. Again, I’m not being pessimistic. This is just a fact of humanhood. Slaughter is a defining behavior for our species. We are among the only mammals who kill one another.
Tigers do not kill tigers. Deer, although they fight, do not kill deer. Squirrels don’t kill squirrels. When was the…