I’m stuck in Nashville traffic. And so, apparently, is everyone else in the Western Hemisphere.
Nashville scares me. The main culprit here is the highways. Nashville’s highway system is a mess because these roads were built to accommodate approximately 11 cars, whereas there are currently 229 trillion Nashville residents.
So this is a problem. A big one. Because right now I am idling in a thousand-mile line of cars, stuck in a cloud of blue exhaust, and we are moving approximately one nanometer per hour.
I think I’ve figured out the problem in this city. The problem is, everyone in the state of Tennessee is trying to use the interstate at the same time. Which is a bad idea, this is just common sense.
If we all tried to take a shower at the same time each morning, the world would run out of water. It’s the same principle. A plus B equals C.
But the traffic problem isn’t getting any better. Because nobody is doing anything about it except buying more electric cars.
Tennessee Department of Transportation reports that, on any average afternoon, in Davidson County, there are strings of electric cars longer than the ladies-restroom line at a George Strait concert.
If you took all the electric cars in the world and placed them end to end, you’d have Nashville.
“The traffic is really hard,” says my friend who lives outside Nashville and commutes to work. Each morning, he spends 120 minutes in his SUV, fighting hundreds of motorists just backing out of his driveway.
He wants a new job, but of course, there are no new jobs in Nashville, only new buildings. Because new construction is out of control here.
Nashville is one of the leading cites in the nation for adding new real estate. In the time it’s taken you to read these paragraphs, Nashville has already built two arenas and one NASCAR súper-speedway.