“Hello. Thank you for calling customer service, website support,” says the woman’s voice, with a pronounced foreign accent. “How may I help you today?”
“Yeah, hi, I have an issue with my website. It’s not working.”
The sound of a keyboard tapping. “What seems to be the issue, sir?”
“My website. Like I said. It’s not working.”
“I see. And are you having a problem with your website, sir?”
“Yes, I just told you.”
“Describe this problem to me, please, in great detail?”
“Okay. None of my blog subscribers are receiving my blog post via email when I send the post out. Ergo, my website isn’t working.”
“Ergo?”
“That’s right. I think it’s a Latin word.”
“I don’t know this word, ‘ergo,’ sir. How do you spell it?”
“Does it really matter?”
“Will you hold please?”
“No, I will not hold. I was just on hold, waiting for forty-one minutes to talk to you, I don’t want to hold agai—”
Hold music.
Ten minutes pass.
“Hello,” says the foreign voice, “and thank you for your patience, sir, we are experiencing an unusually high call volume, but your call is important to us. What seems
to be the problem today?”
“I already told you what the problem was, remember? My blog post? It’s not going out via email?”
“I do not remember you, sir.”
“I was the one who used the Latin word.”
“Ah, yes. How can I help you?”
“I just told you, my blog isn’t working. None of my subscribers are receiving my blog post?”
Keyboard tapping. “Let me see what I can find out on my end, sir. Thank you for your patience.” More keyboard tapping. “Are you having a nice day?”
“Don’t make small talk with me. Please.”
“I’m sorry, sir? ‘Small talk?’”
“That’s right. I know you couldn’t care less how my day is going, so don’t pretend by making small talk.”
“What is this ‘small…