Someone is impersonating me. This person has created a fake account using my name. They’re going around asking for money on Facebook. And worse: they’re using bad grammar.
And I just think that’s tacky.
For starters, I don’t ask for money. The last time I asked for money I was 16. I was trying to get to Miami Beach for spring break along with my friends Ed Lee and Tater Log.
We told our mothers we wanted to attend a very special Bible camp in Coconut Grove.
“Bible camp?” Tater Log’s mother remarked, doubtfully. “And does this Bible camp also have wet T-shirt contests?”
So we tried my mother next.
I asked Mama for a modest $1,200, which I thought was an honest estimate for travel expenses and gas. Mama laughed so hard she had to be calmed with buttered Saltines.
So anyway, my wife was the first to bring this Facebook scammer to my attention. She thought this person was hysterical. She located the imposter’s Facebook profile and howled with laughter.
“He isn’t even cute!” my wife
announced, cackling at the computer screen. “Look at his cheap haircut and that idiot grin.”
The impersonator, as it happens, is using my actual photo. And it’s a recent photo, too, which features my current haircut and my current grin.
Moreover, it turns out this hoaxer is trying to sweet talk innocent people into giving them personal information and account passwords.
Well, let me reassure you, publicly, I do not want your passwords. I can’t even remember my own passwords, and I have thousands. In fact, remembering all my passwords has become a full-time job.
Whenever my wife and I try to watch TV, for example, our streaming service requires us to re-enter our password each time.
And since I am the tech-guy in our house, it’s up to me to remember this password. At which point I have to don reading…