The call came late afternoon.
“May I speak to Sean?” said the child’s voice.
Speaking, I said.
“Is this a bad time, Mister Sean?”
Not at all. And don’t call me ‘Mister,’ it’s weird.
“What’re you doing right now, Mister Sean?”
Me? Right now? Actually, I was just trying to figure out what to write about.
“How’s it coming? The writing?”
It’s not.
“You mean you have writer’s block?”
No. I mean I am having an existential crisis, I’ve been staring at a blank screen for several hours, but nothing's happening, so I’ve decided to move to coastal Canada, change my name, and take up professional lobster fishing.
“So you can’t find anything to write about?”
That is correct.
“Well, that’s kinda why I was calling, actually. My mom reads your stories to me every night before bed.”
I’m sorry to hear that. Please don’t blame me for your mother’s terrible taste in literature.
“No, I like your writing.”
In that case, please don’t blame me for YOUR bad taste in literature.
“Last night, my mom read me your latest story.”
Really?
“Yep. And I was like, ‘Mom, how can I meet Sean? I’ve got to meet him somehow.’ And she was
like, ‘Well, let me see if I can’t get in touch with him.’ And so she did.”
So how did she find me? How’d she get this number I mean?
“My mom knows everyone. She is friends with your wife's cousin’s pet-sitter’s daughter’s roommate’s boyfriend’s aunt’s dad.”
How about that.
“So anyway, I’m calling you from the hospital right now, so I’m sorry if there is a lot of background noise.”
The hospital?
“Yes. It’s busy here. The nurses come in and out of this room all the time. I never have a moment to myself. You pretty much learn to live with them.”
Which hospital are you in, if you don’t mind my asking?
“I am in…