I don’t care about the gifts,
Or the crappy little gadgets,
I don’t care about the food,
Or four-hour Christmas pageants.

Yes, I like the twinkly lights,
But I could take or leave them,
And I like all the Christmas stories,
But I don’t know if I believe them.

It’s not the Santa in the mall,
Or the television parades they watch,
Or the Hallmark Channel specials,
Starring the former cast of Baywatch.

I don’t need carols,
Or ice skating in the park,
Or Christmas market vendors,
Who accept Venmo and credit cards.

I do not crave a holiday,
Filled with activities and social games,
Or flying hither and yonder,
Contracting flu-A on planes.

I do not need a stack of gifts,
From Target, Belk, or Old Navy,
Or homemade sweet potato pie,
Cheese logs or giblet gravy.

The truth is I want for nothing,
Be it animal, vegetable, or mineral,
And I don’t want to rub elbows with people,
Who won’t attend my funeral.

Tonight, I ask not for physical things,
Or objects bright and new,
All I want this Christmas evening,
Is to be right here with you.