The emailer was irate. “When are you finally going to address the lies being told RIGHT NOW to the American people?” the emailer wrote. “You are A COWARD!”

For the purposes of this article, I will call this emailer “Fran,” not only to conceal her identity but also because Fran is her legal name. In the interest of anonymity, however, I will not tell you that Fran lives in Huntington, West Virginia.

To be fair, Fran is absolutely right. There ARE many lies told to Americans. And I’d like to address the biggest ones which are currently impacting our cherished way of life.

The first lie—and maybe the biggest—is that we must wait one hour after eating to go swimming.

False.

When will the misinformation stop? This myth has been perpetrated on the American People for centuries. Primarily, by Our Mothers who sought to keep We The People out of the public pool so they could hurry home and attend special-interest Tupperware parties.

Long ago, mothers would allow children to swim happily, shortly before telling their children it was “time for a snack.”

Whereupon mothers would deceptively administer to their children Fig Newtons, only to declare, after the Newton was consumed, that we were not allowed to swim until we were well into our mid-forties.

The truth is, a meal eaten before swimming will not cause cramping, says Doctor Boniface, an emergency room physician in Birmingham. “I think mothers came up with this because they were just ready to go home.”

So you are free to eat before swimming. You are also free to be a critical thinker.

Which leads me to the second lie, and one of the most profoundly disturbing, which states that we humans only use 10 percent of our brains.

I’ve heard this one for years. I specifically remember my Little League coach spreading this misinformation directly after our shortstop, Greg Campbell, tried to shoot a bottle rocket from an important orifice of his lower body.

Science has repeatedly proven that humans use their entire brains all the time unless, of course, that human is a member of Congress.

Another lie is that sitting too close to the television causes blindness. This myth was spread back in the days when We The People’s parents owned giant Zenith console televisions that were approximately the size of the Lincoln Memorial.

Children in the American family were often expected to sit extremely close to the television, on the floor, because we kids were known as The Family Remote Control.

“Sitting before the TV is not dangerous,” said the doc, “unless your TV is in the bathtub with you.”

So you are free to sit as close to your TV as you want. It is your right as an American.

I’m running out of room here, but there are many more lies that have been perpetrated on innocent Americans such as the following:

—Cracking your knuckles causes arthritis.

—Shaved hair grows back thicker.

—You lose all your heat through your head.

—Bats are blind.

—The Houston Astros won the 2017 World Series.

—Alcohol killz brane sells.

And the biggest of all:

—Americans choosing not to talk politics in a public place must be called “cowards.”

Thanks for the letter, Fran.