I saw them picking up garbage. At the time, I was at a filling station, located in the wilds of rural Alabama. I was pumping gas when I saw three men.
They wore neon vests. They carried sharp sticks. They were meandering along the county highway, collecting litter and placing it into satchels.
They were old guys. Dressed like your granddaddy’s generation. Pants pulled up to their armpits, á la Fred Mertz. Between three of them, there were six hearing aids.
“We do this just because we can,” said one guy, using a sharp stick to stab a crumpled Wendy’s cup in the grass.
Another man chimed in. “Everyone claims they care about this country, but when you see the litter we see, most of’em are lying.”
They are in their eighties. The oldest is 86. The youngest is 81. “It’s good exercise, gets us outside, gets us moving. Gets the blood going. Cheaper than a membership to one of those gyms where everyone wears tight britches.”
Another man puts it a different way.
“You don’t stop going because you get old, you get old because you stop going.”
A few times each week, the old guys meet in the morning. They eat breakfast at some restaurant. Eggs and bacon and toast with lots of butter. All the things their doctors tell them not to eat.
They drink too much coffee. They tell the same stories they’ve been telling since Americans drove Packards. They flirt with their waitress. They visit the men’s room, which, at this age, they tell me can take about as long as dental school.
Then it’s time to go to work. They hop in the truck. They find a stretch of highway.
“We just drive until we see trash. Just last week, we saw a bunch of Mountain Dew cans scattered on the median, like someone just threw cans from their car. So we started there.”
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