See Rock City. That’s what the highway signs said. So here I stand, atop Lookout Mountain. Seeing Rock City.
I am 2,389 feet above sea level. The world beneath me looks like a train model set, filled with thousands of itty-bitty Walmarts and Burger Kings.
I’m overlooking seven U.S. states from a cliff known as Lover’s Leap. I can see Tennessee, Virginia, Kentucky, North and South Carolina, Georgia and Alabama.
“Long way down,” says a nearby tourist. The man leans over the guardrail and spits, just to watch his saliva fall.
He stares admiringly at his airborne spittle. “Long, LONG way down,” he adds.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve seen slews of highway signs saying, “See Rock City.” They are scattered along backroads between Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee and God only knows where else. They are painted on every barn, cowhouse, birdhouse and doghouse.
I have even seen these three words engraved on the boys’ bathroom wall in a local junior high school. “See Rock City” was written just beneath the phrase, “Mrs. Biderbecke stinks,”
and “Writing on bathroom stall walls is done for neither wealth nor critical acclaim, therefore it is the purest form of art.”
I’ve also seen those famous three words in places far from home.
One time, in the Philadelphia International Airport, I saw a guy wearing a “See Rock City” T-shirt. I was homesick and thrilled to see anything familiar. I immediately stopped swatting rats and approached him.
“Excuse me, sir?” I asked. “Where are you from?”
“Who the [bleep] wants to [bleeping] know?” he asked.
“Your T-shirt,” I said. “See Rock City? I know where that place is.”
“How about that.” He said. Then he stole my wallet.
But somehow, I’ve never actually been to Rock City until today.
I pulled into the park at lunchtime. I bought a ticket. One adult pass cost me a little over $25. Not a bad…