Let’s talk about confidence. Self-confidence. Not the corny brand of confidence found in many self-help books where you repeat a motivational key phrase before the mirror for guaranteed success—or your money back!
No, I’m talking about the kind of unwavering confidence found within exceptional people who routinely sing karaoke or pass highway patrol vehicles on the interstate. Confidence.
I bring up this subject because today I was standing in line at the supermarket when I met a retired psychologist. She was mid-eighties, with white hair and Coke-bottle glasses. Her name was Doctor Don’t-You-Dare-Use-My-Real-Name.
We got to talking and I casually asked the old physician which mental health problems she encountered most during her career.
Her answer came quickly. “Lack of confidence.”
“Really?” I said.
“Definitely,” she said as our cashier was ringing up the old woman’s—I swear—box of prunes.
I was surprised by her answer. I was expecting her to say the most frequent disorders were anxiety, depression, or as in my case, clinically obsessive avoidance of mowing my lawn.
“Well,” answered the shrink. “Lack of confidence is
a problem that helps fuels those other problems. People who quit believing in themselves fall apart or they overcompensate. Both are dangerous.”
Statistically, two thirds of Americans suffer from lack of self-confidence. In one study, researchers found that a quarter of people under age 35 admitted to disliking themselves. And in a recent survey eight out of ten teenage girls admitted to practically hating themselves.
“Lack of confidence isn’t just a little problem,” said the clinician. “It’s the iceberg that sank the Titanic.”
By now, the cashier and everyone else in line was listening to our conversation as the doc went on to explain that most people without confidence have lost the ability to think positively. Which is a fatal problem.
“Unconfident people don’t believe anything good can happen to them personally. They don’t feel they deserve good things. They don’t believe…