Q: Why has your writing changed so much since you got back from walking the Camino? I miss the old Sean. You’ve become too deep for me.

A: I am not deep. But my wife says I am getting wide.

Q: I was disappointed to hear you criticize our nation’s youth as largely inactive. Not all teens are addicted to phones. My 16- and 17-year-old grandkids promised to power off their phones for two hours, and we spent the time mowing my lawn before they picked up their phones again. Their mom has never let them mow a lawn before, we had a lot of fun!

A: Two full hours. That’s quite an accomplishment.

Q: Our local newspaper said in a caption that your mother had passed away. What!? Is that true? I saw her babysitting your nieces yesterday!

A: This is why you never volunteer to babysit.

Q: The newspaper printed that your mother had passed away in one of your columns. But I think they made a mistake, they were talking about your late “mother-in-law,” right?

A: My mother lives. Although after the newspaper’s misstatement, I’m the one you should be worried about.

Q: I read recently a post where you claimed the oldest known instrument was a flute discovered by archaeology was 40,000 years old. But you are wrong, sir. Biblically, the earth is only 6,000 years old. I didn’t come from a monkey.

A: My mistake.

Q: Your fascination with bodily functions is disgusting. Leave the little adolescent boy behind in your writings, please.

A: I know you are, but what am I?

Q: You stated once that we are all God’s children. That’s false. We are all God’s CREATION, but only those who HAVE BEEN SAVED are his children. How about you, Sean? Do you KNOW the one who sits in judgment over the nations?

A: I sure hope it ain’t you.

Q: Someone told me you died.

A: That was an exaggeration.

Q: When you write about animal kill shelters, you give them a bad name. So called “kill shelters” aren’t bad places, they accept pets no-kill shelters usually refuse—which would ultimately decide those animals’ fates elsewhere.

A: It’s not the kill shelters I have a problem with. It’s the killing.

Q: In our newspaper, you wrote that America kills 1,200 dogs each day in the US, about 500,000 dogs per year. I work at a shelter that euthanizes, but I am not a bad person. We love these animals, it’s just that sometimes there is no avoidable way.

A: If the roles of dog and human were reversed, I wonder if you would be a little more concerned about this.

Q: How is Morgan Love doing? You wrote that she was in sepsis a while ago, I have been praying for her ever since.

A: Morgan is doing MUCH better. She must be the most resilient human alive. Doctors are mystified by her consistency to defy a death sentence. Morgan is the kind of kid who can spend six months in the hospital, then beg to go to a waterpark the day after being released. She has more tenacity for life than anyone I’ve ever met. Please keep praying for her, though.

Q: Do you really get all the negative emails you post about? I simply refuse to believe so many people email that kind of negativity each day.

A: Keep refusing to believe it, friend. And I mean that.

Q: Are the hateful emails you post real? How can some people be so mean?

A: Real. Something has shifted within the past months. I have definitely noticed an uptick in negativity in my inbox. And it’s not just me. It’s other people I know. I know a sports commentator, for example, who has been receiving an influx of hateful commentary each day, usually about politics. His response is always: “I’m just a baseball announcer, folks.”

Q: Why is everyone in the South so racist?

A: Visit Houston, New Orleans, Birmingham, Atlanta, DC. Not to mention Tampa and Miami. Then we’ll talk.

Q: I can’t believe you’re proud to be from the South, I’d be embarrassed if I were you.

A: I am definitely embarrassed after reading your remark. But not for myself.

Q: Why are there so many mean people lately? My daughter shared a video online and all the commenters were so mean to her, she had to take it down. It did more damage to her confidence than anything we ever had to deal with when I was her age (16). This is the worst era for an American teenager in history.

A: Agreed. Except for that whole World-War-II thing.

Q: Can you please quit posting your quippy responses to all the negative remarks you receive via email. I read your work to be uplifted, not to be torn down.

A: Maybe skip this column.