From emails, comments, and private messages:
Q: I read your piece about the Black Hawk crash, and yet you refused to name the third pilot! Why haven’t you spoken about the third pilot, Rebecca Lobach, identified in the Black Hawk crash? …why are you staying silent!!? This is a time for all Americans to speak loudly!!!
A: Sorry. I can’t hear you over all the shouting.
Q: What do you have to say about Beyoncé winning a Grammy for best country album of the year? Is this really happening? How can they call hip hop country music?
A: I say give to Beyoncé what is Beyoncé’s. But give to Willie what belongs to Willie.
Q: Who the [cussword] were you even writing to when you wrote your open letter to the three service members in the helicopter crash? The crew members are dead, they can’t read it, [cuss word] you, [cussword] idiot. You were disrespecting their memory by using this crash as a platform to share your [creative cussword] writing.
A: Would that we could all be more like you.
Q: Are you aware that people on social media have stolen your writing about the helicopter disaster and are posting it all over the internet as their own, and taking credit for writing it?
A: I wrote it for fallen service members. Not for credit.
Q: Why do you refuse to speak on politics? Grow up little boy and pull your head out of your [cussword]! Can’t you see what is happening to this country? There is a war between the USA and Canada right now! At the Raptors basketball game in Ontario, the USA national anthem got booed by Canadians!
A: I think you mean Toronto.
Q: What are we going to do about Canadians booing our “Star Spangled Banner” at sporting events? This is disrespectful and frightening! I was shocked by the level of anger and hatred shown by Canadians!
A: Then don’t ever attend a hockey game.
Q: Why are you constantly writing about angels, but never proclaiming belief in God? You say you believe in angels, but I’ve never read you proclaim God. Are you afraid to proclaim it? Don’t you believe in God? Why don’t you ever proclaim it in your writing?
A: Why didn’t you proclaim it in your comment?
Q: Young man, I have read your writings and I don’t know what to think about you, quite honestly. Your writings are sometimes good, but not always. At times you are irreverent and disrespectful and that repulses me. I would say that 80 percent of the time I am unsatisfied with what you write and this is especially true when you write on the theme of organized religion. You give the Baptists a particularly hard time. Why are you so hard on the Southern Baptists? I am a Baptist.
A: You don’t say.
Q: What do you think about the rise of AI when it comes to professional writing? My son is an English major and he worries about his career. I recently saw on the news that 57% of all internet content is AI generated.
A: I would say that 93.54% of all statistics are made up.
Q: I am concerned with what I saw on the Grammys last night when an artist named Chappell Roan, who dressed like a horror movie sex puppet, asked the music industry to provide free healthcare to its artists.
She said, “I demand that labels and the industry profiting millions of dollars off artists would offer a liveable wage and healthcare, especially to developing artists… labels we got you, but do you got us?”
A: You must have been one of the nine who watched the Grammys.
Q: A remark you made troubles me. It was in regards to you being a dog person. You wrote that, in your opinion, because you consider your dogs to be your children this makes you pathetic.
A: After reading through emails this morning, I’ve changed my mind.