Approximately 5,000 US movie theaters have closed in the last five years. Which is about 1,000 theater closures per year. More theaters are predicted to close.
People just aren’t going to the movies anymore.
“The biggest competitor we have is not Netflix…” says the CEO of AMC Theaters. “It’s the couch. People have simply decided they don’t want to leave their homes as much as they used to.”
I personally mourn the loss of movie theaters. There was a time when the average American teenager attended a few movies per week. I was one such teen.
The movie theater was where your whole life happened. The theater was where you socialized. The theater was where you hung out. The theater was sacred.
In those days, however, the theater wasn’t a temple of silence, but a loud, sticky-floored cathedral where we threw Milk Duds at our friends. And, most importantly, the theater was where you got to first base with Rachel Billings.
I remember sitting through a feature film with Rachel Billings beside me. I pretended to yawn, casually draping my left arm over her shoulder, only to discover that Rachel had always considered us “just friends.”
Sadly, those days are gone. Today there are millions of teenagers who have never even visited a theater. There are even more teens who have never even heard of Rachel Billings.
Today we have streaming services. Today we have trillions of shows being produced every hour by Hollywood.
And yet, here’s the funny thing: Current stats show that most young people are unable to even watch a single movie all the way through.
In a recent study, 60 percent of teens admitted to playing on their phones while watching movies, usually losing interest within the first 10 minutes. The average digital attention span for teens has dropped to roughly 4.2 seconds.
Other things we are losing:
Sedans. This year, Chevrolet will cease production of the Malibu. This will leave Chevrolet with no sedans. Only SUVs, trucks, and the Corvette. Other automotive brands are following suit.
Drug stores. Walgreens is shutting 1,200 locations, leaning toward digital hubs instead. CVS isn’t far behind.
The corner-store model is dying, say all the big-shot corporate executives.
Walmart CEO, Doug McMillon explains. “We’ve made it so easy to never leave the house that we’ve accidentally incentivized people to stay inside. The trip to the store is becoming a relic for many families.”
Supermarket chains are migrating toward online shopping, too. No longer will Americans sniff cantaloupes or fondle avocados. We will just sit in our pajamas, eating shriveled produce that has been pre-selected for us by random employees from the delivery fulfillment center.
Irons and ironing boards. Once, they were the centerpieces of each laundry room. But the modern consumer prefers a handheld steamer.
Tablecloths. We’re losing them. Last year, many American retailers put tablecloths on the extinction list. Modern families prefer a wipe-clean surface to tablecloths.
Bar soap. For thousands of years humanity has used solid soap. Your grandparents used bar soap. Abraham Lincoln used bar soap. The 12 apostles used bar soap.
And in 1993, my mother used bar soap when the Atlanta Braves lost to the Philadelphia Phillies in Game Six of the playoffs and she heard me utter a phrase that rhymes with: “Got dandruff and some of it itches!” She placed the bar soap directly into my mouth. My mother used Dial.
The top bed sheet. We’re losing those, too. For centuries, humans made the bed with one fitted sheet, one top sheet, and one blanket. New studies show that Gen Z has largely abandoned the top sheet.
So the world is changing. I know this. You know this. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not worried. And I’m not trying to be negative.
But our children will never know the joy of memorizing phone numbers, or Saturday morning cartoons, or rushing to the bathroom during TV commercials. Neither will they understand the joy of saving all their pennies to buy candy from the corner drugstore since we won’t have drugstores OR pennies.
Most of all, young people never know the thrill of Friday movie nights, when you beg your mom to iron your shirt before your hot date to the theater.
Even though, as I say, Rachel Billings is just a friend.