The internet reviews are in:
—This album sucks. I bought this album based on good reviews here but this is honestly the worst music I’ve ever heard in my life. Mozart was no genius, he was just some weird guy who got famous.
—While somewhat of a good book, you cannot help but realize that Mark Twain was a racist… You could never make this into a movie.
—I first read this book 15 years ago in high school. Then I read it again (or was supposed to) in college. Now, I get the (mis)fortune of teaching it to a new generation of students who need to be bored to death with American Literature classics. Students, I have a confession to make. I understand Huck Finn. I can explain Huck Finn. But nothing puts me to sleep faster than this pile of literary poo.
—I bought this painting print for my bathroom, but I can’t get beyond my suspicion that this artist doesn’t know how to draw hands. The clumsy attempt to hide them behind a misshapen bowl just screams AMATEUR. I would not buy another Monet painting.
—Most boring movie ever made. The airplane is fake. Too many random characters wearing fez hats. Basically, it’s just a movie about people in tuxedos standing around a piano talking about “the letters.” Also, why is it in black and white? I waited an hour for an explosion. It never happened. Save your time. I don’t understand why anyone would watch “Casablanca.”
—Why are people calling Itzhak Perlman the best violinist in the world? I agree with many reviewers here, it sounds like he’s scared to play passionately. I mean, he’s a decent musician but…
—I’m 35 and this is the first time I read Harper Lee’s book. In the end I really just felt disappointed. There was a lot of racism in it, and no character development or resolution.
—Norman Rockwell cannot paint. It looks like AI.
—We had to read this play for school. It was unoriginal and full of clichés. The language is impossible to understand. Five minutes into reading this play, I realized that I’ve seen this SAME story, literally, a thousand times before in other movies, and heard all these one-liners before. Shakespeare needs to come up with more original ideas.
—This is supposed to be a great historic painting but why is she so ugly? Um, isn’t art supposed to be beautiful? Her skin is yellow? And the painting is much smaller than I expected the Mona Lisa to be. Also I’m pretty sure Leonardo da Vinci was racist.
—She didn’t solve the root causes of poverty, she just gave people a place to die. Inefficient and lacks a long-term economic strategy. She also baptised people while they were dying, which is forcing someone to convert. Mother Teresa was no saint, she was a telemarketer for her religion.
—I found this book to be outdated and somewhat difficult to understand. I picked up this book because it was number one on a best-100 list but I don’t agree with its position. It’s basically about a Cuban man on a boat who loses a fish. But the author strips away the Cuban identity of all his characters and makes them into sterile fairytale characters which is obviously a masked form of racism. Why do people act like Hemingway was so good?
—He’s a middle-aged man in a cardigan, and his show just makes me uncomfortable. I’m sorry, but he stares at the camera for WAY too long. Every single episode starts with him changing his shoes. And can we talk about the puppets? I’m not letting my kids watch “Mister Rogers Neighborhood.”
—(The Chicago Times, 1863) The cheeks of every American must tingle with shame as he reads [the Gettysburg Address] the silly, flat, and dishwatery utterances of the man who has to be pointed out to intelligent foreigners as the President of the United States.
You know what kind of people leave mean comments on the internet? Me neither.
Let’s keep it that way.