In light of all the negative headlines, civil unrest, and the international political upheavals, I know many of you are anxious to know what I did for National Kiss a Ginger Day.
Or maybe you missed this particular holiday.
Truth be told, I had never heard of this specific hair pigmentation festivity until recently. I am a ginger, so when I learned of this special occasion I planned on celebrating by listening to Willie Nelson records and watching Carol Burnett reruns.
National Kiss a Ginger Day, however, turned out to be a disappointment. For starters, hardly anyone knows about this important holiday.
When I asked my wife, for example, if she knew what today was, she smiled and handed me a full trash bag.
“Garbage day,” she said.
I spent the rest of the morning breaking down cardboard boxes.
When the garbage truck arrived, as fate would have it, one of the sanitation workers happened to be a redhead. He was a large guy with a bushy orange beard, riding on the back bumper.
“Do you know
what today is?!” I called out.
He leapt off the truck, then spit. “Monday,” he replied.
“No,” said I.
Then I told him today was National Kiss a Ginger Day. The man grew silent. “Have a nice day, sir,” he said.
In the grocery store, I asked the cashier if she knew what today was. The woman shook her head and replied, “Should I?”
I said it was National Kiss a Ginger Day.
We just stood there staring at each other. I was waiting for her to make the first move. She looked me up and down, as though she were buying a horse.
“I have a sore throat,” she finally said.
The lady teller at the bank was also a redhead. I was thrilled. Actually, her hair was more auburn, but this definitely counts. I smiled at this woman and asked if…
