I used bad grammar in public. And it gets worse. I did it in front of an English teacher. He almost suffered a stroke in the middle of Target. I should’ve known better. It was a careless mistake.
Here’s how it happened. I shook his hand and said the worst formed sentence in history: “I hope you’re doing good.”
Silence.
My friend, an esteemed college professor, made a face.
“You hope I’m ‘doing GOOD?’” he said. “That’s HORRIBLE grammar. I thought you were a writer.”
A writer. Well, as it happens, I’m more of a saturated fat appreciator than I am a writer.
People who eat like I do, also use bad grammar from time to time. And okasionaly i eaven mispel sum wirds.
But of course, I know the rules. Our sixth grade teacher instructed us to never say things like: “I hope you are good.”
She taught us the correct way to say: “I hope you are WELL.”
Then, if you want to really impress your socialite friends, graciously lift your pinky finger while taking a sip from your Natural Light.
But teachers don’t know everything. After all, my sixth grade teacher once told us Pluto was a planet. She was dead-wrong.
I might be a C-student, but even I know that scientists proved Pluto is not a full-fledged planet. Pluto, you see, is one of seven documented “dwarf planets” which orbit the “Snow White” galaxy, discovered in 1492 by Sir Elton John.
So, grammatical errors aside, the reason I am writing this is because I hope you are “doing GOOD” today.
Good.
It’s my favorite word. And I hope everything is GOOD for you. I hope things come easy. I hope you eat a GOOD breakfast. I hope you feel GOOD. I hope you hear a GOOD song on the radio.
And when you hear that song, I hope you consider it a sign from the universe that life itself isn’t just “fine,” but “good.”
I heard a song the other day, and I felt good. You know what else feels good? Holding a loved one’s memory so tight you leave grip marks on it.
I wish you that kind of good today. It’s the weekend, you deserve it.
Listen, I’m no English teacher, but I know that this world isn’t always good. People can be very un-good sometimes. It can be downright cruel. This place isn’t all apple blossoms and honeysuckles.
I met a 13-year-old, abused by her father. I met a paralyzed 42-year-old who said he feels like a burden to his family.
And a few nights ago, I met a woman with Parkinson’s who hasn’t left her house since ‘91. She was 68. Pale skinned. When I hugged her I could feel her shaking in my arms.
So there’s more to life than proper grammar. There are problems to punch, mountains to hike, and people to help.
So I hope you feel important. I hope you get some good news. I hope you sleep good. I hope you see some good weather.
I’m looking at such weather. And on a day like today, problems don’t matter. Not even big ones.
So, I forgot where I was going with this.
Yes. I remember. English professors who need emergency colonoscopies. Forget grammar. I hope you’re good.
I truly hope that the universe is on your side. The sun, the moon, every star above you. Even the non-planet Pluto.
No matter who you are, or where you call home, may you find relief from things that hurt. May you understand just how valuable you are to this world.
May you be good.
I love you.
54 comments
Chris Longcrier - March 17, 2018 6:41 am
You done good Sean. Good on you son!
Ann Dagostin - March 17, 2018 7:11 am
Saturday, March 17, 2018, after a rousing Friday night in Ozark, Al to hear Sean of the South… It’s very early am. Regular sleeping hours are often fleeting these days due to illnes. However, It is not really a problem as I know tomorrow I can pretty much nap whenever I want! I am definitely spoiled!
Loved your program among the Methodists last night. I visited by my sister’s invitation. I was, however, surprised that not once did I hear you mention Presbyterians. Boy, can you say an unlimited load of material for your stories?
Presbyterians do not clap, sing along, shout out “amen”, hold tent revivals. We are known as the “frozen chosen.”
We can be a hard sale to many people, yet my Presbyterian family makes my life a thing of beauty, love, peace and joy. And as wonders never cease,, we have a member affectionately known as “Yankee Bob”, ’cause he is from New York, that will throw out an “amen” right in the middle of the service !!! Who knows, if you were to visit Eastwood Presbyterian Church in Montgomery, Al, someone would grab your hand and make you feel “good” to be among people trying hard to live “well” in a broken world. Hope you and your wife will!
John - March 17, 2018 7:25 am
Your golfer then me.
W. Gary Smith - March 17, 2018 8:52 am
God is good all the time and all the time God is good, even in a world where there is s lot of “un-good”. Your Momma raised a good ‘un Sean. Keep spreading His goodness and love through your writing…
Jody - March 17, 2018 11:00 am
Good gracious this says it all.
Peggy Kendall - March 17, 2018 11:06 am
I love you, too!
Kathy - March 17, 2018 11:10 am
Sounds like you’re doing today, Sean! 🙂 I’m good, too, because I started my day with a cup of coffee and you! ❤️
Kathy - March 17, 2018 11:11 am
Oops, I meant sounds like you’re doing good!
Pam - March 17, 2018 11:13 am
This piece of yours today- solid as a rock ?
❤️
Judy Ennis - March 17, 2018 11:22 am
Love you Back!
Dianne - March 17, 2018 11:52 am
Great column to end the week! I had a friend, who every time that friend heard someone say “I hope you’re doing well”, my friend would say “How deep is that well you’re digging?”. Thanks for your daily reminders of how GOOD life and people are.
Marisa Franca @ All Our Way - March 17, 2018 12:09 pm
Well, I am good, thank you very much!! I’m glad to hear you are good and not just a mediocre well. Thank you for all the GOOD wishes and if you take just one “O” out of the sentence, guess who and what we have with us?? Or should that have been “whom?” Well, we’re all friends here so let’s just say what’s in our heart and let it come out whichever way we want. Sending GOOD vibrations and love your way!!
Sherry - March 17, 2018 12:09 pm
Good work,Sean….Have a good day!
Connie - March 17, 2018 12:09 pm
Yesterday, I got to spend some time with my brother who lives far away and I only see maybe once a year or two. This morning, I’m in my pjs instead of at work, snuggling with my puppies in my recliner, reading your sweet column. Yep, I’m doing well AND it’s good. Sending a hug and love your way. Give one to your sweet Jamie too.
Lis - March 17, 2018 12:47 pm
Life is getting me down right now so I needed to hear this. I really do have it GOOD. Sometimes things around me just get heavy and then when you hurt things really get Heavy. But I am good and I thank you for reminding me of that.
Nix LaVerdi - March 17, 2018 12:48 pm
Sean, this is so GOOD. Your stories speak to me, every time. They are hilariously, GOOD. They are heart warming, GOOD. They make my smile, GOOD. It is so GOOD that I was told about your writing. Seeing your posts in my inbox each morning makes me feel like I will have a GOOD day, no matter the circumstances. WELL, if that doesn’t make up a GOOD human being, I don’t know what does. This world is full of un-GOOD, but you are one person that can dissolve that reality with GOOD stories. Keep them coming, Sean. From the GOOD-ness of my heart, Thank you!
LuAnn - March 17, 2018 12:54 pm
Love this!
Jan - March 17, 2018 12:55 pm
Hope you are doing good, Sean! I love you too!
Ronnie - March 17, 2018 12:58 pm
Just so you know, this is GOOD!
Catherine - March 17, 2018 1:20 pm
That’s some good writin’ right there.
Sharon Bartley - March 17, 2018 1:26 pm
You know what? I used to teach English and I am a professor, but if you ever see me, you say whatever you want to me! and I promise I won’t care about grammar mistakes, or for that matter even notice them! I am sad for the person who felt correcting you was required from him, and couldn’t simply enjoy the caring that you were sending his way. And just so you know, I live in the community and teach at the same university where the man lived who “discovered” Pluto. We are not at all amused that it’s been downgraded, and we all still claim it as a planet. Sean, you are the best and I appreciate all you do to keep us positive, and smiling, and sometimes crying, but always reminded that God is there and we are love. I love you too!
Virginia Watson Snell - March 17, 2018 2:13 pm
I marked off another item off my bucket list last night. I got to meet you in person. My husband (the contractor, we say homebuilder, from Skipperville) enjoyed being in the Ozark Baptist Church to meet you personally. You were really GOOD. Now I will start reading the 5 books I purchased last night! Life is real GOOD here. Hope you have a GOOD day. We both love you and Jamie. She is beautiful.
Judy - March 17, 2018 2:21 pm
I am real good because this just made me chuckle….better than good … but good will cover it well. You have a good day. And keep up the good words!
Arlene - March 17, 2018 2:23 pm
We all love you, too, Sean. Thank you for the good feelings.
Trina V. - March 17, 2018 2:28 pm
I’m an English teacher, and I hope you’re doing GOOD today!
Edna B. - March 17, 2018 2:34 pm
I don’t always use “correct grammar”. I say “good” as well. I love starting my day by coming by to hear your stories. I hope you have an awesome day, hugs, Edna B.
Pamela McEachern - March 17, 2018 3:01 pm
It’s All Good ~♡
Peace and Love to everyone from Birminghaam
Carol Houston Rothwell - March 17, 2018 3:14 pm
GOOD!!
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU TOO!!
AND EVERYTHING YOU WRITE…,IT’S BETTER THAN GOOD…AND YES I AM SHOUTING,,
THAT’S WHAT MY KID’S TELL ME WHEN YOU WRITE EVERYTHING IN CAPS…TO ME..IT’S BECAUSE I CAN READ IT BETTER….
AIN’T THAT GOOD??
LOVE YA.?!
Bess - March 17, 2018 3:20 pm
Good gracious, you’re good!
Bob Goodman - March 17, 2018 4:07 pm
Also you can also say “keep up the good work”
Jack Quanstrum - March 17, 2018 4:32 pm
That’s good! In fact that’s great!
Matt - March 17, 2018 4:52 pm
Sean,
It’s been only a couple of weeks before I have ever read your articles! I am a fan!! You hit-the-nail-on-the-head on each article I’ve read…
Your latest “good”, is another htnith article. Meaning: I ask folks (after mass), “how’re you doing?” They say, “good.” Me: puzzled look – “you’ve just been to mass and you’re just doing good?” “It ought to be fantastic or perfect or absolutementa-perfecto, instead of good.” I get a few raised eyebrows; but so-what. This day will be my last and tomorrow will be another gift to be with family, friends and possibly a new friend.
Thank you for your awesome articles!
Matt
Linda Chipman - March 17, 2018 5:04 pm
Thank you Sean. Your kind words could not have come on a better day. Six years ago today I lost my wonderful Mama. She was 95 years old and a true Christian. So today I celebrate her life and all she meant to me.
Janet Mary Lee - March 17, 2018 5:28 pm
Sorry for your loss, Linda. But beautiful that you can cherish so many good memories. You both are in my prayers…
Janet Mary Lee - March 17, 2018 5:24 pm
“You are more of a saturated fat appreciator” – Dang, that is GOOD! You are filled with gems, my friend! And loved and appreciated! Kiss that Ellie May and Jamie, not necessarily in that order! You have made me good for another day!! 😉
Maxine Wakefield - March 17, 2018 5:52 pm
Evidently this professor referred to follows your writing (hopefully he does) and will read this delightful column today and then take time to look at the comments. What a tactless and rude comment he made to you but you turned it into a delightfully GOOD column.
Wendy Franks - March 17, 2018 5:56 pm
I am a converted grammar freak. I used to correct my immediate family members every time they’d say something akin to “I’m going to lay down.”
But I must have missed the updated lesson because I hear so many educated people on TV saying same.
Life’s too darned short to fret about such things!
Love you, Sean!
Marty from Alabama - March 17, 2018 6:29 pm
Sean Dietrich, I love you. Not the kind of love you get from Jamie and Ellie Mae, but the kind that says I understood completely what you were saying (I think). I appreciate the way it feels when reading your posts.i talking to a friend and neither of us have to be oh so careful about using the correct word. Down home, front-porch sitting kind of talk. Please don’t change; just keep being Sean of the South.
Bye now!
Susan - March 17, 2018 7:09 pm
You are a GOOD guy!
sandysewwhatever - March 17, 2018 8:47 pm
I guess your professor person forgot about idioms.
Good grief, correcting English in a Target! (tongue in cheek from one who has only heard about them and not been in one) Didn’t he realise where he was? Maybe fill-in-the-blank posh shop in the city, but not Target.
You find GOOD people in Target, not necessarily English PHD students.
Phyllis Hamilton - March 17, 2018 11:16 pm
Absolutely wonderful! I was once embarrassed to death when I used “I” instead of “me” and was called out in a meeting with my peers. Was it really that important enough to cause me such embarrassment. I love you too!
Ava McCurley - March 18, 2018 1:33 am
When someone asks me how I am, I always tell them “I’m good”. Mostly that’s true.
KATHLEEN FAINA - March 18, 2018 1:42 am
Even though I’ve never met you, through your writings, I love you, too.
Jack Darnell - March 18, 2018 2:03 am
Okay, I want to thank you. I might even love you. My books come back to me bleeding red after the proofers eat them up. I am a HS drop out, love your writing and I love to write. I am taking a break from my blog so I can do some work on our home and get ready to handle dementia in my only surviving sibling. This and a couple blogs are my only writing for the next week. I just wanted to tell you (as hundreds of other have I am-sure.) Love your writing dude. I am convinced, you know who you are. That is important in life. I sure ain’t smart, but I have been here longer than you! hahahaha
Michael Hawke - March 18, 2018 2:07 am
And we love you too.
Susan Hammett Poole - March 18, 2018 10:19 am
Reminds me of a “faux pas” I committed when my old maid senior English teacher asked me what I’d I been doing over the summer and I told her I had just seen the cutest movie, “Shitty Shitty Bang Bang”. The blood drained out of her face and she looked mortified. I wished I could disappear into the sidewalk. Our conversation ended there as I mumbled and tried to correct myself. If I’d only pronounced the CH instead of the SH. It was horrible.
Marty from Alabama, Oakman that is - March 18, 2018 1:18 pm
An addition to my earlier comment. My husband and I went out to eat at one of our most favorite restaurants, The Bull Pen in Oakman, Alabama. Yummy good food. Anyway, you would have loved this one waitress. She is the happiest person and uses the word “good” all the time. Every time she passes a table, whether hers or not, she will ask, “Everything good?” The customers usually answers positively and then the young later says, “Good.” Thought about you when I heard her. She is a treat.
Kathi Harper Hill - March 18, 2018 1:38 pm
I choose to use poor grammar all the time. Life is more fun that way. Or funner. As long as you know the rules, you can break them. Or what fun would that be?
Alan Brock - March 19, 2018 2:59 pm
You done good.?
johnallenberry - March 21, 2018 8:26 pm
I’m an English professor, and I would argue that you got it right. Every day that I come to work, and every day that I don’t for that matter, I hope to do good. I want to so SOMEBODY some good. When I get through a class, I want my students to say, “Boy, that was good!” When I meet someone on the street or talk to someone, I want to do something good for them. Well is just me, and while I hope people are doing well, I sure hope that their days are spent doing good. We need a whole lot more of it out there… every day you sit down to write these columns, you are doing a me a lot of good, and I’d bet there’s not a reader out there who, if they’re honest with themselves, could say otherwise. Keep doing good.
Barbara - April 2, 2018 12:14 pm
I love you too! You made my day.
Susie Lavender - May 27, 2018 11:28 am
How much better would the world be if everyone went around “doing good”? I’m going to try extra hard to do good today. Thanks for the reminder……..
Tamia Bible - May 27, 2018 12:24 pm
From another member of God’s “Frozen Chosen,” I hope you are doing “good” today, Ann. In our little Presbyterian Church in Huntsville, Tennessee, we often brave the wrath of the founding fathers and clap. We don’t have an amen corner though! Sending good wishes to you today from another fan of Sean’s!
Patricia Parker - May 27, 2018 12:28 pm
I’m a retired English teacher. I don’t correct people. It’s just plain rude and disrespectful. Life is too short to waste it on such. It’s all good. ? Love you,too!