Biggie Tee

[dropcap]S[/dropcap]omething strange happened to me. While sipping sweet tea on the sofa, I received a phone call from an unknown number. I confess, unknown numbers give me a twinge of anxiety. After all, why would someone in Delaware be calling me? The only thing I know about Delaware, is the state capital – which is D.

I answered the phone.

The gentleman on the other end of the line asked for Marietta in a frantic voice. I informed him that I wasn’t anybody’s Marietta, at least not anymore.

The man begged me not to hang up. He introduced himself as Biggie Tee, and from the low tone of his voice, I’m guessing he was. Biggie explained that he’d been arrested, he was using his one phone call to reach his mother in Florida, for bail money.

When I asked Biggie what he’d done to land in custody, he said that he’d been caught stealing laptops from parked cars. “But I only steals from rich folk,” Biggie clarified. “From Land Rovers and BMWs, I never steals from regular folks.”

The man had scruples.

He seemed like a nice fella, so I agreed to Google his Mother’s number, in Tampa, and give her her a call.

Subsequently, when the old lady answered the phone, it was evident she was one biscuit short of a blue plate special. “No!” she hollered. “I’m not voting for #@%! Hilary! Now, quit calling!”

Then she asked if I had time to pick up her prescriptions.

So I gave her my wife’s number.

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