Boys, I’ll make this short: treat her good.
Real good.
Treat a girl the way you’d treat the most valuable human you’ve ever touched. No. Treat her like the most rare human you’ve NEVER touched.
Try to think of the most priceless creation on earth. A Rembrandt painting, an 11th century Bible, the Cup of Christ, the Stetson of Willie Nelson.
Treat your girl like that. Times a hundred.
Treat her like she’s been removed from a bullet-proof case and hooked to your arm by Billy Graham himself.
Open every door for her, pull out every chair, hold her pocketbook when need be. Admire her like a painting—not a magazine.
When you spend time together, look straight into her eyes. After all, her eyes lead to her mind, which leads to her heart, which leads to her soul.
Above all—and I am governmentally serious about this—do not look at your god-forsaken phone. Not even once. I mean it. Don’t hold it in your lap, don’t set it on the table, don’t keep it in your pocket, don’t make trips to the bathroom to send texts.
When you’re with her, leave your smartphone in your glovebox. Then, place your car in neutral, lock the doors, set the vehicle on fire, and push it into the nearest muddy ditch.
You’re in public with a famous Rembrandt painting—on loan from the Louvre. Don’t waste time.
See how the light hits the angles of her face. Watch the way she wrinkles her forehead when she laughs.
Listen with big ears. Let yourself drift upon the harmonics of her voice like you’re tubing down the Blackwater River with a cooler full of Budweiser and Doritos.
Ask questions. But don’t ask common ones. Be original.
Ask how old she was when she lost her first tooth. Ask about her dog, and where it sleeps.
Would she rather hang-glide or flea-market? Winn-Dixie or The Pig? Kroger or Publix? Barbecue or chicken and dumplings? Cornbread or biscuits? How’s she like her eggs? These are important.
The less you talk about yourself the better.
That’s not because you don’t matter. You do. But because you don’t NEED to say anything to prove what kind of man you are.
Besides, she’s already paying close attention to you. This is because girls, you see, are among the most intelligent creatures on the planet. That’s not opinion, that’s scientific.
Recent medical studies have demonstrated that the most structurally complex brains in the solar system—brace yourself—are female brains.
The second most complex cerebral architectures belong to the North American dolphin. I think. Or maybe it’s the North American house cat. Either way, they’re super smart, that’s what I’m saying.
So, she’s watching you.
She’s taking notes on how you treat waiters, waitresses, cashiers, and children. How you refer to your mother. How you pet animals. How high-pitched your voice gets when you talk to babies.
That’s why I’m writing you, son. Because I can see you, right now. I’m sitting in a restaurant booth behind you. You’re sixteen, maybe seventeen, dressed nice. You’re on a date at a swanky Italian joint.
A brunette sits across your table, but you don’t even see her. You can’t. You’re too busy looking at a glowing digital screen.
And as your humble brother, I just want to tell you that you’re missing the greatest part of your life.
Which is having the privilege of loving a woman.
37 comments
Karen Greatrix - October 28, 2018 5:27 am
The only time my husband uses his phone is when he needs to find me in a store.
Steve Winfield - November 2, 2018 3:35 am
Wonderful!
Dolores S. Fort - October 28, 2018 5:39 am
Thank you, Sean! It really does bother me that people are so in to looking at those phones when they are sitting with others. We’ve lost the art of conversation.
Sandi in FL. - October 28, 2018 8:12 am
I echo your remarks, Dolores. Social skills such as the art of conversation do not exist among cell phone addicts. The couple whom Sean saw in the next booth are a common fixture EVERYWHERE today. It’s the height of rudeness and bad manners. Many folks are not able to sit down to a meal without their cell phone next to their fork.
Julie - October 28, 2018 5:53 am
I want to forward this to my sons – and my daughter. I want the guys to listen and learn; the returns are more than worth the investment.
BTW, thanks, Sean. Your writing reaffirms my faith in people.
Pamela McEachern - October 28, 2018 6:41 am
You are a smart man Sean Dietrich and we love you. You are a blessing to us all.
Peace and Love from Birmingham
GaryD - October 28, 2018 7:49 am
I’m disabled. (There, I’ve said it.) I sit all day waiting for her to return from work. When I see her pull into the driveway I’m so excitef and happy. She walks in, gives me a peck on the cheek…….then sits at the far end of the couch and gets on Facebook. Even while she’s cooking she’s on Fbook. Even while we’re eating. I guess I’m not a Rembrandt just a childish doodle on a torn piece of notebook paper. Oh well, at least we’re in the same house together. ?
Sandi in FL. - October 28, 2018 8:15 am
Gary, I do hope she reads Sean’s post AND your comment. Maybe, just maybe, it will dawn on her what shes doing.
Dee - October 28, 2018 6:12 pm
Gary, I want to tell you are a unique treasure in God’s eyes. You need to know that and tell it to yourself every day. When your spirit says otherwise you put your hand on your heart and tell your spirit, out loud, that’s a lie and the truth is that you have been exquisitely designed by the God of the universe. There is no one else like you. You have gifts and talents that are from Him, specifically for you. You have a purpose in Him. Oftentimes it’s hard (for us and others) to see ourselves the way God sees us. That DOESN’T CHANGE who we truly are. Please don’t allow yourself to misalign your thinking from God’s truth. It’s will be a daily struggle but you can transform your thoughts. If you want your wife to see you differently then begin to see yourself differently. Her perspective may change but even if it doesn’t…it doesn’t change who you truly are, which is a child of Almighty, all loving God.
Kay - October 29, 2018 2:53 pm
Gary — are you on Facebook? If you are, send her notes and memes to her page to let her know you love her and are thinking of her. Let her know how much she is appreciated for working all day and then coming home and cooking for you. Facebook is a way for her to escape from the struggles that she is dealing with too. Since you are just now admitting that you are disabled, I imagine that you have just recently became that way. She is dealing with a lot at the moment too. Coming home and opening up her facebook and seeing a sweet meme from her husband will makes her smile. Sending her things that you think she would like (like maybe some videos of puppies) will let her know that you love her and you are still her best friend. Before long, you will be talking again.
Camille - October 28, 2018 9:21 am
Do you think it would be possible to have you cloned?
Stitch - October 28, 2018 10:01 am
With the exception of the part about the phone, this is basically the conversation my Dad had with my then boyfriend all those years ago. And I’m proud to say I’ve been treated like a valuable treasure for 50 years!
I do agree about the phones! One half great inventions, other half hideous things. It’s the highest form of rudeness to get on your phone when in the company of others. In my house, there’s a basket by the front door with a sign over it that says “Avoid being rude, leave your phone here.”
Love this one, Sean!
Naomi - October 28, 2018 10:05 am
Well, it sure doesn’t work for us. We’re in a second marriage and in Jan. we will have been married 39 years. I do most of the driving because my husband terrifies me when he drives; he does the back-seat driving. If he drives, I have to chase him half way out of the garage before I can get in. He doesn’t look at his cell phone because he doesn’t have one. He finishes his dinner before I get to sit down; he also says grace while I’m still in the kitchen. We have told each other the same stories about our lives a thousand times. He does the grocery shopping because I spend too much on toilet paper; he counts the number of sheets per roll; he also counts the number of bananas in a bunch. The secret of a lasting marriage is tolerance and forgiveness. Marriage is nothing like dating.
Howard Humphreys - October 28, 2018 11:25 am
2 words—WELL SAID!
Nancy Hall - October 28, 2018 11:46 am
It is also important to put your phone down when children are with you. They deserve an equal amount of respect. They learn by example.
Phillip Saunders - October 28, 2018 12:17 pm
You dead-centered the nail with the hammer again, Sean. I bet Jamie cooks you some cracklin’ bread and home fried chikin’ tonight.
Stan - October 28, 2018 12:30 pm
Preach on my brother! I love my wife of 21 years and I’ve always tried to treat her like you describe. I feel sorry for the young girls coming up in this day of technology they may never experience this royal treatment and respect.
My wife and I love your blog and your radio show. Keep up the good work.
Stan and Cathy Nashville, GA
BJean - October 28, 2018 12:34 pm
Sean, you are golden. ☺
Bobbie - October 28, 2018 12:41 pm
Awwww….thanks, Sean. This needed to be said!
Mary Burns - October 28, 2018 12:43 pm
Very good advice!
Debbie Britt - October 28, 2018 1:14 pm
Your wife is ALMOST as blessed as me!!?
Connie - October 28, 2018 1:33 pm
Thanks!
Jimmy Nokes - October 28, 2018 2:35 pm
Absolutely beautiful and 100% correct thanks
Kristine Wehrheim - October 28, 2018 2:52 pm
So very true ?
Chuck Gerlach - October 28, 2018 3:04 pm
I have yet to understand why texting even exists. If I have a PHONE in my hand, why don’t I actually CALL someone??
I continue to be amazed when walking into a restaurant, seeing a family of 4 sitting around a table and ALL are staring into their phone. The cell phone is both an amazing device —- and demonic !!
Great post Sean, as usual.
Patricia Gibson - October 28, 2018 3:14 pm
Well said!
Edna B. - October 28, 2018 4:13 pm
Your words are spot on. Your advice is golden. Thank you. You have a wonderful day, hugs, Edna B.
Lee Taylor - October 28, 2018 4:20 pm
WOW!
Cathy Butler - October 28, 2018 4:23 pm
I just sent this to my soon-to-be-18-year-old son. I’ve told him this a hundred times, but I worry advice from me sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher. Hopefully, coming from you, he will hear it loud and clear.
Sandra Smith - October 28, 2018 5:16 pm
B.R.A.V.O !!!
❤❤❤❤
Barbara Crippen - October 28, 2018 5:41 pm
You go, Sean. Boys….. & girls pay attention to this post…..the person you’re with could be your life time partner.Cell phones should be checked at the door if they’re not locked in the glove box.
Dianne - October 28, 2018 6:03 pm
Thank you, Sean, for a wonderful reminder. Cell phones, iPads, etc. coupled with social media are ruining relationships left and right, as well as ruining how we communicate with other on a one on one basis. Hoping all young people will read your column today.
Pat - October 28, 2018 6:40 pm
Wow, you are a gem Sean
Jane Vaught - October 28, 2018 7:02 pm
Right on!!!
Jan Wilson Chapman - October 28, 2018 7:11 pm
My daughter and I were dining at an upscale restaurant in Chattanooga. It was prom night. The girls were beautiful and the boys were ever so handsome. None of them saw anybody as they all had their heads in their phones. It was truly one of the saddest things….
S C Anderson - October 28, 2018 9:45 pm
Love it!
Doris Wismer - October 29, 2018 1:40 pm
This is so spot-on. I see it each time we dine out, be it McDonald’s or upscale eateries. I see it when my grandchildren come over for Sunday dinner. It is everywhere and the saddest thing I’ve ever seen. No memories- just a flashing screen.