[dropcap]F[/dropcap]or lunch yesterday, I ordered a burrito that was the size of a Cadillac. And it dawned on me, food portions have gotten bigger over the years.
When I was growing up, there never seemed to be enough food. Take McDonald’s for instance: their hamburgers used to be paper-thin patties on Styrofoam buns. Along with your meal you’d get six french fries, and one squirt of ketchup.
Everything was smaller back then. Remember McDonald’s tiny ice cream cones? You took three licks, and you were already down to the cone.
These days, things are nice and big. McDonald’s has enlarged everything, they’ve even upstaged the Happy Meal – thank God. Now they have something called the Mighty Kids Meal. It’s mighty alright. It comes with a half-pound burger, fries, nuggets, egg salad, a wedge of birthday cake, a Budweiser, and an iPad.
Perhaps the most heroic food portions are found at Chipoltle Mexican Grill. Yesterday, a server was wrapping my herculean burrito when the tortilla broke.
“Whoops,” she said. “You want me to add another tortilla?”
It sounded plausible.
She blessed me with another dollop of guacamole and wrapped my wounded burrito with a second tortilla. It tore again.
Third time’s a charm.
She added two more tortillas. By then, my burrito resembled a newborn hog wrapped in a swaddling parka. For my trouble, she threw in some napkins and a free syringe of insulin.
I’ve never been so excited to eat in my life. But, something didn’t seem quite right. I inspected my bag.
She forgot my damn chips.