DEAR SEAN:
Words can’t describe how much I detest your writings now… I used to like your work, but I now think you are a fake…
I was shocked when I read a four-letter word in one of your stories… You are profane and our Holy God is going to exact judgement upon all those who profane…
Goodbye,
ANGRY-AS-SIN
DEAR ANGRY:
I want you to pay close attention when I say this, because this might be difficult for you to understand:
You cannot make me hate you.
If you get nothing else from this letter, I hope you remember this. No matter what you think of me, no matter what kind of eternal flaming Lake Superior you think I’m bound for, you can’t make me dislike you.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you coming to my barbecue, necessarily. But then again, you wouldn’t have a good time at my party anyway. There are usually a lot of flagrant Episcopalians there.
Anyway, do you want to know something? Do you know what my first reaction was when I received your eloquent letter? If I’m being totally honest with myself, I felt kind of afraid.
“Whoa!” I was thinking. “Am I am a big fake? Is this guy right about me? Maybe he is!”
And I was genuinely scared. Isn’t that pathetic? Maybe you think I’m a big old wuss for admitting this.
Don’t answer that.
The embarrassing truth is, I’ve been afraid for most of my life. In fact, growing up I was almost always afraid.
You’d have to know me to understand this. I had a traumatic childhood. I don’t want to rehash it here because it doesn’t matter. Lots of people blame things on messed up childhoods. I’m not going to do that.
Certainly, I could blame my irrational fears on the fact that my father was mentally unstable and killed himself in my uncle’s garage when I was a boy. Or I could blame my longtime Fear of Failure on the fact that I am a high-school dropout.
Perhaps I could explain away all my other fears too, such as my fear of airports, spiders, snakes, televangelists, jogging suits, certain breeds of llamas, etc. But you’d probably just roll your eyes.
The truth is, I think I grew up afraid because when I was a kid my life sucked. I realized early on that I couldn’t control anything. And this will terrify any boy. It makes my palms sweaty just thinking about it.
I can’t control what will happen today, who lives or dies, the outcome of a football game, or whether my dog will pee on the kitchen floor. I can’t control how badly things will hurt, how good they will feel, how long I’ll live, or which boneheaded mistakes I will make. And I make a lot of mistakes.
For all I know, I am making a huge mistake now by writing you. I should probably just let you alone.
Be that as it may—and I love that phrase—I have found one thing in this world that I CAN control. Just one teensy, tiny, little thing.
I control who I love.
So go ahead and try to make me hate you, but it’s not going to work. You’re not dealing with an amateur here. I have a lot of experience in the field of hating things. I used to be a world champ.
I hated my father for dying young. I grew up hating our screwed up lives. I hated the ultra-religious people who told me suicide was an “unforgivable sin.” These were the same people who worried more about cuss words and beer than they did about, for instance, the threat of nuclear war.
When I got older, I learned how to hate other things too. Like the snooty crowd who looked down on my family because we were sort of different. I learned how dislike any girl who broke my heart. And this just shows you how truly afraid I was inside.
But somewhere along the way this exhausted me. It’s grueling work, disliking people. And I don’t want to do it anymore. I won’t.
I want to fall in love with fools who don’t deserve it. I want to learn to be generous to the embittered, the unjust, the cruel, the egomaniacs, and the telemarketers who call my cellphone forty times per day. I want to care deeply about a stranger who cares nothing for me.
I want to be sweet to my ex-girlfriend’s mother who once told me I wouldn’t amount to squat because I was an uneducated dropout.
I want to be nice to Javen Roberts, who friended me online even though he beat me up in sixth grade because he said I was a “fatty.” Hi, Javen.
And most of all, I want to spend my life learning to love the man who ruined my family by placing a gun barrel into his mouth when I was a child. A man who—even though he didn’t mean to—left me so afraid that I was crippled inside for many years. If I can learn to love that tortured soul, you’re a piece of cake.
Twenty-five years ago I would have never had the courage to write you back. I would’ve been too afraid. But I’m not anymore.
You don’t scare me, sir.
I love the hell out of you.
85 comments
Connie Havard Ryland - January 18, 2020 6:29 am
I love the hell out of you Sean. Being nice is easy. Being mean to people, disliking people, writing ugly letters to people-that takes energy to keep up. I find it easy to love people, to be nice, to smile, to listen. It makes me happy to make other people happy. That probably makes me an old fool, but I don’t care. I’m gonna be me. I’m grateful that you are you.
Bud Carroll - January 18, 2020 7:02 am
Modern Day Pharisees abound. They think grace is a girls’ name;l ove for puppies; protective shields are walls that divide. Go ahead and Mr/Ms Hate Sean. But if/when you’re willing to dust off the mirrors of YOUR seemingly very narrow understanding of life, you will see bright spots of love – lives interspersed with the sweet, sour, the kind and the ugly. You can, like so many of us, learn that forgiving is just that – FOR GIVING. My faith reminds me I must love you, but that doesn’t mean I want to share a slice of pizza with you. Sadly your slice might have a piece of stone in it and I don’t want you to whack me with me.
grantburris - January 18, 2020 8:44 am
That was an excellent answer, Sean. It has taken you a long time but you have mastered the technique of loving stupid people. This guy who called you a fake was one. Of course, I didn’t need to tell you. You already noticed it.
Deb Lockard - January 18, 2020 8:57 am
By taking the loving high road like you did , you always get a wonderful view, along with the knowledge that we are all truly “ fearfully and wonderfully made” and well worth the effort . You are the best!
Camille - January 18, 2020 9:32 am
Damn Sean, you just did it again, made yourself my hero! Sure do hope one day I get to meet you in person~ I love you, Sean Dietrich!
derekrobertson81 - January 18, 2020 9:44 am
Hey Sean… I love you bro! And you don’t even know me. But I know you love me back.
Janet Gray - January 18, 2020 11:12 am
“The Greatest of these is LOVE” Anger is a sin bigger than a four letter word. I love you Sean and your critic too. I have walked in your shoes. My dad killed himself and I too dropped out of school. We were very poor but blessed with a wonderful mother who taught us not to hate or hold grudges. She believed in prayer and lived that daily. I became a teacher and went on to be National teacher of the year in spite of those who said I was nothing. I am not afraid to try anything and fear is not in my vocabulary. Thank you for who you are and what you have become. When you come back to Palatka Florida, we will have a burger at Angel’s Diner.
Elizabeth - January 18, 2020 11:57 am
Being nice to strangers is easy but being nice, learning to forgive and love those that have hurt us is much more challenging. I’m thrilled for you Sean! Great job!
PWS - January 18, 2020 12:01 pm
Amen and thank you for these words that remind -to choose love- and truly live.
Lindsey - January 18, 2020 12:21 pm
“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Martha - January 18, 2020 12:30 pm
Dear “Angry as Sin”. You have certainly chosen a fitting and profane “pen name”. i would suggest you might consider, “repentance”.
Jenn - January 18, 2020 12:36 pm
I’ve got pretty thick skin re cuss words, I’m tryna recall what 4 letter word you used! Maybe it was just heck or hell- people are funny, aren’t they. Looking forward to seeing your show in AL next month.
Warren Evans - January 18, 2020 12:38 pm
Absolutely brilliant response to a poor sanctimonious soul who evidently hasn”t understood the difference between a speck and a camel. Thanks for being genuine, Sean. I and many others love you immensely.
Cynthia Harmon - January 18, 2020 12:40 pm
You are so right, fear and hate take so much from you. Love in all its forms is the thing that gives back to you when you give it to others. I do believe that I want to read your work every morning because love comes through every time. It feeds my soul. Thank you.
Naomi - January 18, 2020 12:42 pm
I can’t believe anyone would write you a letter like that Sean, I am a Messianic-Jew who grew up in Orthodox Judaism in the Jim Crowe South. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My mother had mental problems and tried to commit suicide at least once when I was in high school. Her older sister and brother did commit suicide. My husband divorced me after 11 years of marriage and two young children because I wasn’t good enough for him, or I didn’t fit in with the big-time politicians he was hanging out at bars with every night while I was taking care of our children. He failed to tell me about the affair that he was having with his secretary. It took me many years to recover from this divorce and get to a place where my children were happy again. Fortunately, his mother and the rest of his family took my side in the divorce and helped me out until I could get on my feet. I wrote a post on FB yesterday about self-professing born-again Christians hating Jews hating black people, hating everyone who doesn’t agree with them. I really don’t care if they hate me but I do care about how they treat my children and grandchildren. I am not their judge, but one day, we will all stand before God, who will be our ultimately judge. I too am fed up with the “Christians” I have known in my life judging me. It’s amazing to me how God is always talking to them about me but He never seems to be talking to them about what they are doing. God doesn’t need a third party to talk to me. I love your blog, Sean, and God bless you for bringing a lot of laughter and love into my life.
Harriet White - Atlanta - January 18, 2020 12:47 pm
Nailed it Sean!!!! I hope I get to meet you someday. You are a rock star in my book.
You should have a show at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta. That would be soooo awesome!!!
Susan - January 18, 2020 1:05 pm
Exactly! “What would Jesus do?”
Annak - January 18, 2020 1:12 pm
Dear Angry-As-Sin: Check out what the Bible has to say about judging others.
Howard Humphreys - January 18, 2020 1:15 pm
Bottom line….Good answer…
Lyla Springfield - January 18, 2020 1:17 pm
That was an absolutely perfect response and ending!
Tammy Holder - January 18, 2020 1:18 pm
Well said, Sean. Love ALWAYS wins!!
Robin - January 18, 2020 1:22 pm
Thanks for reminding us all what we should look inside for, and walking the walk.
Sharon Lawson - January 18, 2020 1:27 pm
WOW! I have no words…
Dee Thompson - January 18, 2020 1:32 pm
Well, speaking as a happily flagrant Episcopalian, you gave the perfect response to Mr. Angry As Sin. Religious bullies like that don’t realize how ridiculous they are, and how their ugly words reveal so much about THEM, not you. People are not naturally haters. Someone taught that guy well, by hurting him, and now he wants to hurt you. You don’t have to play that game, and you didn’t. That’s maturity. Kudos to you, my friend. You took the high road. / I don’t write “religious” books but an important theme in my novel Ghosts in the Garden City is forgiveness, if you want to check it out. The main character is trying to recover from an awful childhood, just fyi…
Karen - January 18, 2020 1:33 pm
You are beautiful, Sean. Thank you.
MR Russell - January 18, 2020 1:37 pm
Hi Naomi, I am a Christian who had a born again experience many years ago. I ‘fall short’ every day, but I have a reverent respect for those of the Jewish faith and I see the beauty and value of all people, regardless of the color of their skin. Please know that not everyone who calls themselves a Christian falls into the category of a self appointed judge for those who they deem to be different from themselves. There are followers of Jesus who ‘get’ that the greatest thing we can do is to love, not judge. I’m sorry that you and Sean have experienced differently from those who profess the Christian faith. I suppose we can love them as Sean demonstrated and pray for them too.
Pamela Williams - January 18, 2020 1:40 pm
Dear Sean, thanks for your response to this person. This is the right message back for sure. It’ll make him even madder, but our Holy God will be smiling and thinking “well done, good and faithful one!”
Sue Gilliam - January 18, 2020 1:41 pm
It’s so funny that you were called a Fake! You are so real some times it hurts! Now sometimes you are so real that I can’t stop laughing…but you get the point! Keep writing and keep loving us!
Pete Foley - January 18, 2020 1:47 pm
“I love you, too. I think. Where’s my comb …?” – Jimmy Swaggart.
Shelton A. - January 18, 2020 1:50 pm
Outstanding response to a less than open-minded person. We love the hell out of you right back (and Jamie, too).
Janice LeMaster - January 18, 2020 1:55 pm
Absolutely beautiful!
Jo Ann - January 18, 2020 1:56 pm
I know for a fact that the person who wrote that letter is in a teeny. tiny minority. There are a gazillion people who love you, Sean, & look forward to your blog every day. The haters are going to hate, no mater what we say or do. “Judge not, lest ye be judged” never applies to them. Thanks, Sean, for being you, & for being in our lives.
Lana Jones Barbaree - January 18, 2020 1:57 pm
You are a brave soul and I love you.
Shelton A. - January 18, 2020 1:57 pm
p.s. Love always wins in the end.
Alice Morrison - January 18, 2020 2:09 pm
Great reply !
Shelton A. - January 18, 2020 2:13 pm
Love always wins in the end. Outstanding response to an, unfortunately, narrow-minded letter. We love the hell out of you and Jamie and we love your writings. You help keep hope alive for a return to a civil, not divided society. From a seriously flagrant Episcopalian.
Anne Arthur - January 18, 2020 2:15 pm
There’s only one way to reply to you: LOVE YOU.
Sharon Brock - January 18, 2020 2:30 pm
Good answer Sean. Hate hurts only the hater. As long as I can look at myself in the mirror and not flinch I figure I am good in the eyes of GOD.
Ray Wallace - January 18, 2020 2:41 pm
Great stuff !
Marilyn - January 18, 2020 2:52 pm
Such a good response to the person who must be very unhappy!! And it gave me pause to think of my behavior too. I fail many times to be the person God wants me to be, so must not judge others.
Reading the responses of your fans give me food for thought almost as much as your daily blog. So I advise others to read both your blog and the responses to get the full experience.
Thank you Sean and I love you and your blog, your wife and your dogs. Keep writing and loving…
Steve - January 18, 2020 3:04 pm
Boom
Andy - January 18, 2020 3:19 pm
Dear Sean, just finished reading your response to the fool who called you out for using a four letter word, and I must say I couldn’t have responded better. I am a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ and I get so tired of these sanctimonious hippocrits who so heavenly minded they are no earthly good. Don’t get me wrong, there are things we should and shouldn’t do and say and shouldn’t say but that is not our job to point them out. It is God’s job. My job is to show and share God’s love in a way to draw people to Him. I believe people like this man have deterred more people from God than brought people to Him. What a shame! Love your blog and love you. God bless you. And by the way,
Andy
Diane H. Toney - January 18, 2020 3:24 pm
Such a commendable response. His letter to you was all about selective sinning, which I see/hear too much of. Don’t you love this writer ending her sentence with a preposition ? Remember the no-no from years past ???????
Cassie - January 18, 2020 3:30 pm
Naomi—My husband was also a Jewish believer in Jesus who grew up as an Orthodox Jew and later became a Conservative Rabbi before accepting his Messiah. He was the kindest, least judgmental person I ever knew. Isn’t it wonderful that God is not confined by our own personal theology or even that of our church? That He loves us in spite of our own imperfect humanity? Judging others is a sin and I will admit it is something I struggle with myself from time to time. That’s why Jesus told us to first take the log out of own eye before trying to remove the splinter in someone else’s.
Amy - January 18, 2020 3:38 pm
Fake?!? Sean you are anything but fake! You are kind and sincere and loving. I look forward to reading your column every day. You make me happy! Keep doing what you are doing! You are making a difference in a lot of people’s lives! Love you Sean!
Shannon Moore - January 18, 2020 3:39 pm
Exactly! Being Christian is NOT the same thing as being a FOLLOWER OF JESUS. Christianity is a religion, plain and simple, being a Jesus follower is a lifestyle where there’s no time for picking the speck out of someone else’s eye because you’re too busy trying to constantly remove the log from your own! God bless you, Sean, and I’ll be praying for you, Angry as Sin!
Tana Newman Branch - January 18, 2020 3:53 pm
Shelton —I’m right there with you, buddy! I’m one of those Episcopalians as well. Sean, I just love a good, proficient cusser! Yep, any kind of clever response to dumb-axxed people I truly appreciate. I lost my dad to non-Hodgskins lymphoma when I was 10. He didn’t chose to leave this world as yours did, but to me, he left me with a hole in my heart just the same. I’m 77, a retired teacher and any child who lost a parent while in my care, became my best friend. Junior High kids have enough going against them to believe God singled their parent out for death which is what my good Baptist grandmother said to me. All the bad things that happen are not the will of God. Stuff happens. God is our strength that gets us through the terrible times.. I’m an Episcopalian, I can think that and not be dammed.
Jessica Williams - January 18, 2020 4:13 pm
Wow. This made me laugh so hard with tears. By far one of my favorite pieces of yours, Sean. Love this so much.
Suzanne - January 18, 2020 4:20 pm
I get so discouraged so frequently lately with all the people who have so much to say~so many smarter wiser thoughts~in their own minds.Ugh! You are one of my daily constants because I know I’ll laugh & possibly cry & remember that oh yea people are awesome! Thank You Sean for writing & loving & being who you are.
Lita - January 18, 2020 4:36 pm
I’m grateful to whatever gathering of miracles made you and others like you possible, Sean.
Kelly Long - January 18, 2020 4:36 pm
Sean, that was a very eloquent response to an idiotic letter. God bless you.
Susan Kennedy - January 18, 2020 4:42 pm
Sean, I love you. And I love your response. Fake?? You’re the total opposite. Authentic is what you are. That dude is messed up and anger is eating him alive. Keep up the good work Sean.
Estelle - January 18, 2020 4:57 pm
The Bible also says “Love your as you love yourself”. Hate is poison to the body. When you hate you are destroying yourself.
Thanks for the wise words in your column today.
Estelle - January 18, 2020 4:59 pm
That’s love you neighbor as yourself.
My brain works faster than my fingers.
Patricia Gibson - January 18, 2020 5:12 pm
You have more Christian love in you than that poor other fella. He is to be pitied. Good response ❤️
Linda Moon - January 18, 2020 5:21 pm
Angry-As-Sin (AAS). If that writer’s signature had been more accurate….say, Angry-Sanctimonious-Stiff (ASS), that might better have described him. Some people I know and love, including me, had less-than-perfect childhoods and don’t blame those who failed us. Be that as it may – I love it, too – the rest of YOUR WORDS to the end, beginning with “I control who I love” are best for all of us. I love you, Sean, and the fathers who had tortured souls, too. “I love the hell out of you.” I think there’s an Episcopalian Benediction in this last sentence of yours, Sir!!
Jean - January 18, 2020 5:50 pm
I get a kick out of people who are always passing judgement on people. What they don’t understand is that God is the only one who can do that job. Just who decided that some words are a sin? Gracious reply to a self approved saint!
Jeff Howard - January 18, 2020 6:08 pm
Great response on your part Sean, it’s often hard to be nice to those that speak so badly of us. Sad that this person chooses to be hateful, has the nerve to tell you that God will judge you …..
Margaret Jackson - January 18, 2020 6:11 pm
Good for you, Sean! I read your blog every day and have never found anything offensive.
You have a kind heart, and an insight into human nature that I envy.
Keep up the good work!
Margaret
Jennie Stultz - January 18, 2020 6:24 pm
❤️. Just. ❤️
Susan I Gleadow - January 18, 2020 6:44 pm
Wow, just wow!❤
James Victor Hamilton - January 18, 2020 6:49 pm
Well put kind sir! Love your neighbor as yourself….hardest thing for me to do!!!
I read your email daily. (I was the one who wrote that I didn’t like your book, ” Stars……”) But I do like your daily email.
VH
Nena - January 18, 2020 9:31 pm
Perfecto!
Wings - January 18, 2020 9:51 pm
To the “hater” … I love Sean. Therefore, Suh, you are a moot point.
Robert Chiles - January 19, 2020 12:55 am
Dear Angry as sin. Bless your heart.
Susan I Gleadow - January 19, 2020 1:38 am
Yess!
Jan Chapman - January 19, 2020 2:21 am
Wow. Just wow. I love you. (When I say that I mean you and your whole family.) But…just wow.
Dianne - January 19, 2020 12:55 pm
You get it, Sean!! That guy who wrote that is probably a very miserable person, and until he learns to love, will remain a miserable person.
Carolyn Kelley - January 19, 2020 1:48 pm
Good for you. You are the best🙂
Crysti - January 20, 2020 12:57 pm
Sean– you are priceless!
Thank you for your courage, vulnerability and grace.
That guy’s attitude is the very one that made Jesus sick.
I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself!
And your last line provoked a very unladylike snort from this Pastor! 🤣
❤Crysti
Judy Cobern - January 20, 2020 2:28 pm
Gosh, I Love you Sean!
Cynthia James - January 20, 2020 3:46 pm
Hey Sean!! Love you back man with all I am!!
Kathy Daum - January 20, 2020 3:47 pm
Amen!
paula jones - January 20, 2020 9:23 pm
Sean- I wish you could see me giving you a standing ovation.
Jim Rhodes - January 21, 2020 5:56 pm
Great loving response buddy! My dear wife, love of my life and the girl of my dreams got us reading everything you write! You are my friend, a breath of real, down to earth fresh air!! Thanks for simply being you!! Thanks for giving us folks who simply live and love a treasure! Keep writing, keep loving and keep giving us your incredible take on REAL life! God Bless, Dammit!! Jim just a regular guy!!
Stephanie Krantz - January 22, 2020 4:59 am
Sean I wish you were my neighbor. You are the best. Thank you again.
Rosie Preston - January 28, 2020 7:37 pm
This article about someone condemning you to hell just made me do some very deep thinking! And usually, I’m just wandering around in my house, or yard, or at my weekly therapy (broken knee), and I admit I get sidetracked. My family thinks it’s funny when I say ‘refrigerator’ when I intended to say ‘microwave’!
They don’t get me! I have quickly turned into a senior citizen and wouldn’t believe it myself if it weren’t for having to look in the mirror!
So, once when I was in grammar school, four girls and I had a little club. We would put some change in one of those old metal band-aid boxes. Well, I don’t remember why or when the club ended, but I’ll never forget the consequences it took on me years later when I was in high school. One of the girls told one of my friends that I was a thief! I was astonished because I can’t remember stealing anything but a candy bar when I was about 5 and I was going to half it with my sister, but she told on me. My daddy made me go to the store and stand and give the candy bar back and say that I was sorry. And oh yes, was I ever sorry! I think that broke me!
So after much research, I finally found out what I was accused of stealing. It was the little metal band-aid box. We found it years later tucked in the insulation of my home’s attic where we usually had our club meetings!
Gee, it is amaziing what people will hold onto in order to put people down! I guess it means they have not sinned!
I hope you enjoyed this little story!
Debbie - February 24, 2020 3:13 am
Bravo! This might be my favorite wrap it all up in the last sentence yet! ❤️
Richelle T - February 24, 2020 3:41 am
Jesus and Jaimie saved you Sean. 😊
Mary Beth Campbell - February 24, 2020 4:06 am
Just last night I was talking about you. I told my friends about your ability to see people, to look past their circumstances & see their story. Not only see it, but tell it in such a manner that we all felt their pain, joy, or sorrow. Heck, if cuss words send you to hell, we are all in trouble. I do not encourage their use, but sure not going to take a disliking to a fella who might let one slip every now & then. Sometimes the frustration is so great, there Is no better way to express yourself. My mama always told me “profanity is ignorance made audible” & that has been a guiding instruction for me, but I know that we all have to work out our own way in this old world & there are by far greater things to give my attention to…like loving folks! You do a great job Sean & you make us want to do it better too! God bless you & your loving ways!
Patricia Smith - February 24, 2020 7:09 am
As mentioned in a portion of today’s sermon…”Love is patient and kind;love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It doe not insist on its own way; It is bit irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” I love you Sean and the very kind and loving way you allow your compassionate nature respond to even those who reach out in disparagement…Keep loving us and showing us how to love others…
Belinda Montgomery - February 24, 2020 2:42 pm
Gee, seems this man lost so much, in my opinion! Out of all the beauty you write about, how love and commitment overcomes, he chose to focus on one word? One word, out of all the love you display in your writings? That’s so sad! We need to pray for his negative, judging soul.
Keep pouring love and positive viewpoints upon us, Sean, the rest of us need it and love you back!
Gladys R. Harris - February 24, 2020 8:18 pm
Sean Dietrich a journalist, a writer! You make me smile! I thank GOD for you, a gift to us.
Mignon craft watson - February 25, 2020 1:09 am
Good for you sean!!!!
Syd Barringer - February 25, 2020 5:43 am
Nancy and I met you in Aliceville. What a treat. Not a day goes by when I don’t recall glorious wastes of time or paprika on deviled eggs. You’ve shown us all a path to a better life, son. Keep it up.