[dropcap]L[/dropcap]ast night I was invited to judge the Shalimar Elementary talent show with two friends. We were supposed to be an esteemed panel of judges, but I showed up in flip flops.
I didn’t get the text about neckties.
We watched children on stage give it their best. We saw choreography, drum playing, singing and glitter – actual glitter. A little girl threw a handful of it into the audience.
All over the judges.
However, my favorite part of the night was the comedians. These are the unsung heroes of the third-grade. There were three of them. They were three foot tall, and they were spectacular. They worked out a handful of jokes for their routine.
I got to play along with a couple.
“Mister Sean, are you having fun tonight?” the comedian asked me.
“I sure am,” I sounded like Buckwheat. “But oh my, how time flies.”
“You are correct Mister Sean. T-T-Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.”
The drummer beat his cymbal on cue.
I decided to throw in a joke of my own over the microphone.
“Did I tell you kids I’m addicted to brake fluid?”
“Yeah, but I can stop whenever I want.”
Crickets. The audience of parents went silent. One man pulled out his pitchfork.
And then I was upstaged by a clever seven-year-old.
“Mister Sean, how do you keep an idiot in suspense?”
“How?” I asked.
The little brat just grinned at me.