[dropcap]L[/dropcap]ast night I was invited to judge the Shalimar Elementary talent show with two friends. We were supposed to be an esteemed panel of judges, but I showed up in flip flops.

I didn’t get the text about neckties.

We watched children on stage give it their best. We saw choreography, drum playing, singing and glitter – actual glitter. A little girl threw a handful of it into the audience.

All over the judges.

However, my favorite part of the night was the comedians. These are the unsung heroes of the third-grade. There were three of them. They were three foot tall, and they were spectacular. They worked out a handful of jokes for their routine.

I got to play along with a couple.

“Mister Sean, are you having fun tonight?” the comedian asked me.

“I sure am,” I sounded like Buckwheat. “But oh my, how time flies.”

“You are correct Mister Sean. T-T-Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.”

The drummer beat his cymbal on cue.

I decided to throw in a joke of my own over the microphone.

“Did I tell you kids I’m addicted to brake fluid?”

“You are?”

“Yeah, but I can stop whenever I want.”

Crickets. The audience of parents went silent. One man pulled out his pitchfork.

And then I was upstaged by a clever seven-year-old.

“Mister Sean, how do you keep an idiot in suspense?”

“How?” I asked.

The little brat just grinned at me.