I receive a lot of feedback from this column in the form of letters, emails, serious legal threats, etc.
Most of the time I try to answer these messages, although I don’t always have time. Often these messages are uplifting. Such as one I got this morning:
“Sean, you are a literary idiot,” the uplifting email began. “…How dare you criticize classic American literature…
“I have been teaching high-school English for 23 years… I cannot believe you insulted a literary giant like Herman Melville.”
The writer of this email, who I’ll call “Deb,” although she is actually Julie from Saint Paul, Minnesota, is responding to a recent column wherein I stated that the classic American novel “Moby Dick” quote, “sucks pond water,” unquote.
“…[You] are part of the dumbing down of this culture…” the writer went on. “I hold writers like you responsible for our functional literacy.”
Let me start by saying, thanks for the letter. It sounds like you and I could be friends.
Moreover, I love receiving feedback like this, in much the same way that I love receiving, say, root canals.
This kind of criticism is helpful to a columnist because it allows you, as a writer, to realize (a) that you are not perfect and (b) some people are truly psycho.
No. I’m only joking. I’m certain the writer of this letter is not really psycho. I’m sure she just needs more dietary fiber, like we all do.
Either way, as a professional writer, I retract my former statement that “Moby Dick” sucks.
Yes, it is true that the novel is a quarter of a million words long. And yes, the story does not actually begin until page 428. Yes, there is an entire chapter dedicated to the color white. But on the upside you can use the book as a doorstop.
When I was in college, I had to read “Moby Dick” just like everyone else. My course was a night class. There were maybe twenty of us.
Our community college instructor was an adjunct professor who worked part-time as a journalist. She was an older woman who, on the first day of class, (this is true) while standing outside the classroom, smoking a Winston, said, “I’ve got Cliff’s Notes if y’all want’em.”
Still, in the interest of literary fairness, I have sought other opinions. I consulted Amazon to read book reviews.
“This book is sadism,” one reviewer wrote. “That’s why they made you read it in school. Someone wanted you to jump off a bridge.”
Another reviewer says, “I read this book hoping to get a good story… But honestly, I swear, 85% of it was about whale blubber, whale anatomy, and whale sperm.”
And another: “It amazes me that Melville could stay conscious long enough to write one page.”
One more: “I teach English. I have never met a student who likes this book.”
And my favorite: “there r no pictures in this book.”
To balance out these opinions, I sought advice from a few professor friends of mine. Starting with Bill, who teaches literature. I asked why students are compelled to read “Moby Dick.”
“Honestly,” he said. “We just want to see if they’ll actually do it.”
I asked another friend who teaches romantic American literature at a large university and has won a major literary award in prose literature.
“We read ‘Moby Dick’ because Melville breaks all the formulaic rules of novel writing, he takes readers on an uncomfortable journey that is wholly unpleasant; we read it because it is a novel that flopped when it was published; it sold less than 4,000 copies in the U.S.
“The bottom line is, we make students read ‘Moby’ because in school, as in life, you have to do a lot of unnecessary [cussword] you don’t want to do.”
Thanks for the letter, Julie.
5 comments
Lynn - March 15, 2024 4:05 am
Sean, I love to read. I’m a very catholic reader. At 72, I’ve probably read more books than some libraries contain. These include things like the Book of Knowledge Encyclopedia. My parents bought it because back then, every well equipped home with children was required to have an encyclopedia in it. Took a few years, but before I left home I finished it. By the way, according to other books I’ve read, some of the sciencey stuff in that encyclopedia has since been proved wrong, just FYI.
Admittedly, I’ve also reread many good books several times. So we’ll just count those as one book.
That being said, I confess to never having finished two books. In all my life, I’ve finished every single book I’ve ever started to read — except two.
One was about a man stranded on a desert island. No idea why that one was ever published. Robinson Caruso really needs to be forgotten about.
The other was Moby Dick.
I know the book was supposed to be a fictional account of a true event. I know it is considered a classic, and those are supposed to be pretty good reading. I’ve never been bored reading most classics.
For example, believer it or not, I’ve enjoyed the Bronté sisters. I bought the complete works of Will Shakespeare when I was about 13, and proceeded to read it cover to cover — including all the poems. Had to look up a lot of words, but what a way to increase your vocabulary. Calling people scurvy knaves was a sight better than modern profane epithets. People even laughed when they heard it, so they must have enjoyed good ole Will as much as I did.
Charles Dickens was among my top go-to reads for a while. Read everything he wrote except The Mystery of Edwin Drood. He never finished writing it, so I saw no point in starting to read it. Because of Dickens, I also read Wilkie Collins. Oh, and Beowulf? Absolutely loved that one. Most of my 7th grade classmates struggled through it, but I read it over and over.
I’ve read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings many many times. All the way through, appendices and all. I even read the Silmarillion — twice. I won’t do it again though.
But Moby Dick (and that other one) somehow cannot be read by me. I don’t blame the books themselves. I am aware that I am not perfect in many areas, and this just may be one of them. I am willing to take responsibility for my failures. However, I am now too old to even care that out of the thousands of books I have read and enjoyed and even reread, I have failed to finish reading two.
Two out of several thousand ain’t a bad record.
So, if you need anyone in your camp on this Moby Dick issue, I’m there. And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.
ron - March 15, 2024 10:32 am
hated shakespeare in high school 50+ yrs ago,
Just imagine trying to recite in front of the class, in olde english, with a redneck, backwoods, up a holler, wv accent. while teacher is criticizing my pronunciation.
Intresting side note, the class reunion, after her well earned demise, several of us burst into a chorus of, ‘ding dong, the witch is dead,’ during the ‘tribute’ to the nasty old biddy
Beth Miller - March 15, 2024 1:04 pm
I had to read “Moby Dick” in graduate school. My professor is a Herman Melville scholar and wrote his 426-page doctoral dissertation on Melville. We even had to watch the movie with Gregory Peck as Captain Ahab. While it was not my favorite book, I am glad we had to read it because I now understand the reference to “the white whale” and how Starbuck’s got its name.
Dee Thompson - March 15, 2024 2:03 pm
I was forced to read Moby Dick at some point in school, but then again I was an English major. It was a great cure for insomnia — almost better than Melatonin… If you want to read something good, a book set in the South, something that will make you laugh and/or possibly cry [in a good way, not from boredom] check out my latest blog: https://deescribbler.typepad.com/my_weblog/2024/03/all-my-books.html
Janet - March 16, 2024 2:29 pm
I never can get past the first page of Moby Dick. I’m a retired librarian. I’ve tried several times but have given up. It does have one of the best first lines in literature. That’s something, I guess.