Dearest Jamie,
I’m going to be honest with you. In our two decades of marriage, I have never known exactly what our roles are. It’s never been clear to me. I’ve always been confused about hierarchy in our household.
See, when I was a kid I was led to believe that males were supposed to “wear the pants” of the family. But that’s not you and me.
I became acutely aware of this about ten minutes into our marriage when you signed all the checks, paying the wedding florists, photographers, and caterers. Then you wrote a check to me.
I asked what my check was for.
You replied, “It’s your monthly allowance.”
I quickly realized that I would not be wearing the proverbial pants. In fact, I would be wearing the proverbial cutoff jean shorts, like the shorts my cousin Beverly wears when she wants attention.
And I’m okay with that.
Because the truth is, you’re stronger than I am. You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it. It’s just a fact.
Used to, it made me feel like less of a man to know that my wife was made of tougher mettle than I was. But not anymore. No, these days I’m just proud to be married to such a sturdy person.
And you are sturdy. That’s why you’re the one who does the important stuff in our life. You do the planning, the organizing, the deep thinking, the bill-paying, the technical troubleshooting.
You are the one who keeps our world going. Without you, it’s a mess.
Which is why after you went to Canada for your friend’s wedding, the day you returned home, the fire department was parked in our front lawn. Sirens flashing. The fireman informed you that it was the third time they’d visited our house in the last week. He also took away my deep-fryer.
Also, you are a powerful woman. Not just psychologically, but in body. When I had back surgery, for example, and the doctor told me that I shouldn’t lift anything over ten pounds, you became the family muscle.
I have seen you move pianos, wheelbarrows of fertilizer, concrete bird baths, and I have witnessed you pushing dead Fords onto the shoulders of busy intersections.
And one time, I watched you dazzle a small audience at the Hampton Inn and Suites by carrying your heavy husband across the threshold of our room on our sixteenth wedding anniversary.
Ah, but you are more than biceps and quadriceps. You are kind and humble at heart.
In my life I have met some stellar people. But I have never met anyone who digs as deeply into the vat of lovingkindness as you. Of course, I could cite examples of your good deeds here, but you wouldn’t want me to. So I won’t.
After all, you don’t perform these acts of goodwill for your own vainglory. You hardly even think twice about helping others. You do these acts of selflessness because you simply can’t help yourself. It’s just who you are.
For me personally, however, I think more than anything, you have taught me how to be a better human being. You have pulled me through some dark places.
It’s no secret that I come from a screwed up homelife. My whacked out childhood did a number on me. And I am still paying the price. Nobody tells you that sometimes the aftershocks of a traumatic boyhood wait about forty years to resurface.
But you have helped me find my way through hell. You’re still helping me find my way.
Case in point. As a boy, after my father’s suicide, I used to have nightmares. Since my youth, I have had night terrors. Nearly every night. There wasn’t an evening when I didn’t have one. The doctors said I might never get over this aspect of my post-traumatic stress.
But guess what, I kinda did. Because of you.
Whenever I would awake in cold sweats, squinting into the darkness with fear, there you were. You were lying beside me in our bed. I could feel your warmth.
Intuitively, you would sense what was happening inside my troubled brain. You’d curl yourself against me and just hold me. And I would find myself again. I would feel myself fall back into a calm reality. I would find my anchor.
My anchor. That’s what you are. It sounds clichéd, but it’s true. You are what holds me in place when the Gulf waters are choppy. You are that powerful piece of iron that digs into the seafloor and keeps me from going adrift. You are the object which refuses to let me, or anyone else you love for that matter, fall aimlessly into the night. You are the reason I believe in God.
In other words, you wear the pants. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Happy birthday.
112 comments
anne - October 26, 2021 6:22 am
Wonderful love letter. Know she appreciates it.
Carey Rogers - October 26, 2021 6:25 am
Happiest birthday to the woman who gives us the gift of you
Sandra - October 26, 2021 6:39 am
What a lovely tribute (and birthday present) for your wife.
I very much enjoy your writings. Please convey my best wishes to your lovely wife for her birthday
Steve Winfield (Lifer) - October 26, 2021 7:50 am
You two make one heck of a couple & 617,304 of us are glad to know you both.
Te - October 26, 2021 8:26 am
Happy Birthday, Jamie! Don’t think of it as getting older. Think of it as getting more fabulous!
Marcie White - October 26, 2021 8:37 am
This is a lovely tribute to your sweet and wonderful wife. I love Jamie, too.
stephenpe - October 26, 2021 8:46 am
We all have something (or most of us) that has us believe in God. You continue to show us how brave you are with words that reveal you. Tell your wife I said happy birthday. She sounds like one in a million.
Cynthia - October 26, 2021 8:53 am
Happy birthday, Jaime!
Julie Moreno - October 26, 2021 10:00 am
All the best for your birthday!!
Brenda - October 26, 2021 10:21 am
Happy Birthday Blessings Jamie!
Pete Tucker - October 26, 2021 10:23 am
A real tribute to a real wife. Thanks for sharing.
Ernie - October 26, 2021 10:27 am
Happy birthday, Jamie. And what a great gift, Mr. Dietrich. (You still need to take her to Waffle House.)
Debbie - October 26, 2021 10:32 am
Happy birthday, Jamie! Sean honors you with these words … no doubt, he’s worth all the love you give him. And the same is true for you deserving to be so loved by Sean. It’s a beautiful thing.
Tim Smith - October 26, 2021 10:34 am
Happy birthday!
Judy Mercer - October 26, 2021 10:42 am
Happiest Birthday wishes, Jamie!!
Alison Crosby - October 26, 2021 10:56 am
Happy birthday to the incomparable Jamie!!!!
🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
cuhullen - October 26, 2021 10:59 am
Happy birthday!
Joan Moore - October 26, 2021 11:05 am
So utterly breathtaking. Hold her close, Sean and give her an extra hug for MM. Happy Birthday to you, and so happy that you are realized for the precious woman you are!
Kathy Croft - October 26, 2021 11:16 am
Happy, Happy Birthday 🎈. Hope you have a wonderful day Jamie and may God continue to bless you both!
Kathy Croft - October 26, 2021 11:18 am
Happy, Happy Birthday Jamie! Hope you have a wonderful day and may God continue to bless you both.
Trudy - October 26, 2021 11:21 am
Happy Birthday to beautiful Jamie.
Amanda F Allen - October 26, 2021 11:23 am
Thank you for sharing this!
Bill - October 26, 2021 11:30 am
Happy Birthday, Jamie! Sean, I really like you, but I love Jamie. You do a wonderful job of describing her. I have met her, chatted with her, and she is just as you describe her. Wonderful!
Debbie g - October 26, 2021 11:30 am
Happy birthday Jamie Sounds like Sean loves you a little bit😀 thank you for sharing Sean with us love to you both
And love to us all
Cyn - October 26, 2021 11:32 am
A beautiful tribute to your wife. Thank you for sharing it with your readers.
Carol Ham - October 26, 2021 11:33 am
So sweet- Jamie is a lucky woman!! ❤️❤️
Linda Clayton - October 26, 2021 11:35 am
Today is a sad one for me as it’s the fourth anniversary of my husband’s death. Needless to say, I needed something to lift my mood and your beautiful and heartfelt tribute to Jamie on her birthday is priceless. God’s blessings to both of you.
Karen - October 26, 2021 12:13 pm
Happy Birthday to Jamie.🎉
Suzi - October 26, 2021 11:35 am
Happy Birthday Jamie, I pray there are enough Jamies out there for my grandsons 💜🎈
Heather - October 26, 2021 11:39 am
Happy birthday, Jamie. You are married to the eternal dream-maker, and I’m certain he is the present you are most thankful for every day of the year.
Lyn - October 26, 2021 11:41 am
Happy birthday Jamie, and wishing you many, many more!
Jean - October 26, 2021 11:52 am
Happy Birthday Jamie!! I think you take after your mom. Have a wonderful day. My birthday was Sunday so I understand you.
Becky - October 26, 2021 11:54 am
My daughter in law is a “Jamie”, I am going to forward your post to both to her and to my son. i have told them many times what you say, but you said it better than I can. Thank you
Colleen Koehn - October 26, 2021 11:59 am
Happy birthday, beautiful lady!
Susan Forte - October 26, 2021 12:02 pm
Beautiful tribute to your wife! Happy Birthday, Jamie!!🎂🥳🎉
GinaT in NC - October 26, 2021 12:05 pm
I understand this very personally. It is a wonderful thing to have such a wonderful, loving, kind and strong person as your partner in crime. You both contribute deeply to your amazing bond of love.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMIE!!!!!!
Suzanne Tirton - October 26, 2021 12:06 pm
That is wonderful. We sail & I love the anchor. My son’s 21st birthday is today. I hope I will be able to honor him when I give him the letter at our special dinner tonight. You have inspired me…it won’t be easy but I can do it!
Jeri Bishop - October 26, 2021 12:11 pm
Happy birthday, Jamie! Mike and I feel sure Sean will make you feel extra special today. In fact, he already has! 🎈🎉🎂😊❤️
Melanie - October 26, 2021 12:14 pm
A beautiful tribute to a beautiful lady. Have a wonderful day, Jamie. Maybe Sean will fix you some fried birthday cake ( 😄 not! ) Happy Birthday! Thank you Sean for sharing her with us. ❤️
John - October 26, 2021 12:20 pm
Happy birthday Jamie! Wishing you a blessed and wonderful day.
Helen Muir - October 26, 2021 12:24 pm
Happy Birthday, Jamie! I’m glad you and Sean found each other. You make the world a better place by being in it and sharing your thoughts and insights. Thank you!
Michelle Bethune - October 26, 2021 12:27 pm
Such a sweet live love letter to your other half. Happy Birthday Jamie! ❤️
Nana - October 26, 2021 12:41 pm
Happy Birthday, Jamie‼️🌟🎁🎶🎉
NancyB - October 26, 2021 12:42 pm
Happy Birthday, Jamie! May today be only the first day of your most blessed year yet!
tmarshall4549 - October 26, 2021 12:45 pm
Happy, Happy Birthday Blessings Jamie!
Cathy Boswell - October 26, 2021 12:45 pm
Wow! Just Wow!! Happy Birthday, Jamie!
peggybilbro - October 26, 2021 12:54 pm
Happy birthday Jamie!
Pamela Williams - October 26, 2021 1:02 pm
Beautiful! Happy birthday, Jamie! ❤️
Don Gardner - October 26, 2021 1:21 pm
Happy Birthday Jamie!
Cathy - October 26, 2021 1:21 pm
How lucky Jamie is to be loved so deeply. I hope it’s a wonderful day for both of you. You make a great team
Kim R - October 26, 2021 1:22 pm
Happy birthday to Jamie! You have a wonderful smile – your beautiful spirit shines through!!
I pray that my troubled son will one day find his Jamie. I believe a relationship like yours will provide healing for him.
Suellen - October 26, 2021 1:22 pm
Happy Birthday Jamie.
Dana - October 26, 2021 1:28 pm
I was blessed to also marry a Jamie. Sounds like you hit the jackpot. Happy birthday, Jamie!!
Lamar Martin - October 26, 2021 1:39 pm
What a lovely lady. 💕💕
Mike Greene - October 26, 2021 1:39 pm
Happy Birthday Jamie
Nancy Griggs - October 26, 2021 1:43 pm
My mother died suddenly and tragically when I was seven and a half. My world exploded in the blink of an eye and I never even returned to the house I had left that morning with her. I called the dreams I had throughout my life my “crying dreams” because I always woke up crying, begging her to not leave me. The last time I had that dream was the night before my wedding. Never again in the soon-to-be 55 years of our marriage. We are very lucky ducks, Sean, to be married to someone who is our home base and where we are always safe. Sweet dreams.
Cecelia P LeBlanc - October 26, 2021 1:44 pm
Happy birthday Jamie!
Paul McCutchen - October 26, 2021 1:45 pm
My uncle did the something as crazy. When my aunt was out of town and he was alone (the kids were in college) he decided to fry some chicken. He put on a pot of oil then while it was heating up he took a nap. The neighbors called the fire department, mostly just smoke but my Aunt taught him a lesson. She rebuilt the kitchen for more than the insurance paid.
Jamie have a great birthday
cajuntiger74 - October 26, 2021 1:51 pm
Sweet!!
Maggie Priestaf - October 26, 2021 1:56 pm
Happy Birthday, Jamie! Thank you for sharing this gifted man with us. Michigan Maggie
Steve norman - October 26, 2021 1:58 pm
Happy birthday Jamie!
Cheryl E. Wood - October 26, 2021 1:58 pm
My daughter’s birthday is on the 26th, too, as well as 2 other friends’. And don’t forget Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Bob - October 26, 2021 2:00 pm
Oh please, not hillary!
Bob - October 26, 2021 1:59 pm
Sweet, 2nd’d 3rd’d and beyond! Hope that makes sense.
D.J.MASMAR - October 26, 2021 2:09 pm
You deserve a loving spouse like that, Jamie, and have many more happy years to gether to celebrate your birthday!
AlaRedClayGirl - October 26, 2021 2:20 pm
Breathtaking…everyone should have a love like this. Happy Birthday, Jamie!
Lucinda - October 26, 2021 2:30 pm
“”How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” I do believe Sean, that you said it better than Elizabeth Barrett Browning in her sonnet. Happy birthday to your beautiful Jamie. And I might also say that she’s rather fortunate to be loved so well.
Cindy Foster - October 26, 2021 2:33 pm
Happy Birthday Jamie!!
Christina - October 26, 2021 2:35 pm
Jamie’s loving kindness always sips through your stories. You are indeed a blessed man.
Happy birthday Jamie! Your life has touched us all in special ways.
Sandi. - October 26, 2021 2:38 pm
Happy Birthday, Jamie Dietrich! May God bless you with MANY more birthdays so that you and Sean can grow old together. Best wishes always!
Butch Veazey - October 26, 2021 2:45 pm
Happy Birthday Jamie! May this year be the best🎉🎂🥳
Catherine Killebrew - October 26, 2021 2:45 pm
That is undoubtedly the sweetest Birthday Card I have ever read.
Patricia Gibson - October 26, 2021 2:48 pm
Happy Birthday Jamie🎂
MARGARET NAYLOR - October 26, 2021 2:59 pm
Happy birthday, Jamie. We love you❣
Kathy Smith - October 26, 2021 3:04 pm
What a beautiful, heartfelt tribute to the love or your life! Happy Birthday, Jamie! I know you shed a few tears & laughed a bit when you read this! Way to go, Sean and thank you for sharing this very moving love letter with the rest of us!!
Nancy Grinstead - October 26, 2021 3:21 pm
Happy Birthday Jamie!❣️😃😃
Sharon Larson - October 26, 2021 4:08 pm
Happy birthday to Jamie! We share the same birthday. Love reading your words, Sean!
mariam - October 26, 2021 4:19 pm
A Very Happy Birthday to You Jamie!! I felt fortunate to meet you when y’all were in Lake City Florida a year or so ago! You are beautiful & as sweet as Sean reflects about you! Favorite sentence was “That’s your allowance”…priceless—-We’re all blessed to know you both through Sean’s daily emails. Thank you for helping this gifted writer become who he is today! The two of you are LOVED by many! Enjoy a wonderful day “The Jaimie WAY”!!
H. J. Patterson - October 26, 2021 4:53 pm
Happy Birthday Jamie! Now go bake yourself a cake because I’m pretty sure Sean can’t bake.
Cheryl McWilliams - October 26, 2021 5:04 pm
I have never read a more touching tribute to a wife, cheerleader, wearer-of-pants, woman! Jamie, Happy birthday to you! Your hubby is a true wordsmith!
Marie Monde - October 26, 2021 5:18 pm
Love this. ❤️ Jaime is an anchor and you two are so lucky to have each other and we are so lucky to be able to read the words you share. Happy Birthday Jaime!! Thank you Sean.
Lindy Lou - October 26, 2021 5:22 pm
May your birthday be blessed in every way, Jamie! 🌹🎂
Lindy Lou - October 26, 2021 5:25 pm
May your birthday be filled with many blessings, Jamie! 🌹🎂
Linda Moon - October 26, 2021 5:52 pm
“Wear the pants” is worn out. “You and Me” works best in 2021, and it’s been descriptive of My Guy and Me for a long time. Jamie’s day of birth is so very loved by you, Sean, and by lots of us who’ve been blessed to meet her. “Sean and Jamie”. Yes, that works.
Marilyn - October 26, 2021 6:19 pm
Happy Birthday, Jamie! How fortunate you are to have one another.
Sandra Smith - October 26, 2021 6:41 pm
Happy Birthday Jamie !
Thanks again, Sean, for making me believe in people who have HEART…You & Jamie !!!
Suzanne Moore - October 26, 2021 7:10 pm
This is a wonderful tribute to your wife, Sean. I hope that I am 10% the woman she is. Happy birthday, Jamie!
Pat D. - October 26, 2021 7:13 pm
Your Jamie sounds like she is a wonderful person and soulmate…my hubby’s birthday is today also,we have been married for 55 years…I’m a native Alabamian and he is a Floridian but we have lived our entire married life in Florida. There are some true Southern Magnolias born and raised in Alabama…we know how to take charge and get her done….you two are very very lucky….May God bless y’all!
Shelton A. - October 26, 2021 7:36 pm
Happiest Birthday, Jamie!! Blessings to you…
Safie - October 26, 2021 7:42 pm
Terrific reflections from the heart ❤️
MAM - October 26, 2021 8:03 pm
Happy Birthday, Jamie, and congratulations to Sean for finding such a wonderful woman. I feel the same way about my husband, that I am the luckiest person to have found him 54 years ago. He does all the cooking, and I pay the bills. Marriage should be the sharing of one’s talents. My husband gives me the opportunity to be the writer in the family, while he cooks scrumptious meals.
Becky Souders - October 26, 2021 8:48 pm
Lucky Jamie. Lucky you. Lucky us.
Chasity Davis Ritter - October 26, 2021 9:59 pm
Happiest of birthdays Jamie from Oklahoma!!
Karen Snyder - October 26, 2021 10:07 pm
You know that old expression, “a match made in heaven?” I think this loving tribute is all about one of those. ❤️ Happy Birthday, Jamie!
Ingrid B Whigham - October 26, 2021 10:33 pm
Happy birthday, Jamie. This column is a wonderful tribute from your husband. I think ya’ll make quite a pair (in a good sense)!
Lans - October 26, 2021 11:00 pm
After all these years you are growing closer daily everyone should be so fortunate. The two of you have definitely become as one.. Thankful you have each other.God bless you both I have been married , all my life ( since I was 17 now 70.) It has definitely been a growing process but definitely worth the effort. Keep up the o of work.
Faye Hutt - October 27, 2021 12:08 am
You’re a lucky man!
Stan Gill - October 27, 2021 2:53 am
Happy Birthday Jamie !!
Sandra - October 27, 2021 3:23 am
“Vainglory”….that’s not a word you see very much! Happy Birthday, Jamie!🥰🎉
PEGGY CAMPBELL - October 27, 2021 4:24 am
Happy birthday Jamie and may God bless you with many more. Love in Christ ❤️🎂🎁
Judy Broussard - October 27, 2021 4:27 am
Happy Birthday Jamie
Nancy - October 27, 2021 1:15 pm
What a lovely way to recognize all the ways your wife complements the lack that life’s trauma had left. May she keep on mettling in all the ways you need her to and may you keep filling her lack with all your laughter.
♥️your cast iron panhandle
Katherine D Kempf Jones - October 27, 2021 2:07 pm
WOW! What a lovely and Loving Birthday tribute! You’ve inspired me to write one of my own to the man who’s a gift to me & has carried me through many dark times. He’s a gift to me, just like I believe Jamie is to you, and by extension to all of us! God is Good to all of us. Keep on sharing, Sean – you inspire Each and Every Day. – w/Love from Charlotte, NC – DiAn
Dianne - October 27, 2021 3:13 pm
Beautiful and beautifully said, Sean. Happy Birthday, Jamie!
Nancy M - October 27, 2021 3:45 pm
Happy Birthday (belated) to Jamie! Thank you for loving Sean. We all love Sean and Jamie!!
Linda J Hendrix - October 27, 2021 4:25 pm
Awww, so sweet & touching. Happy Birthday, Jamie.
Annette Hancock - October 27, 2021 11:11 pm
Happy birthday Jamie and You are blessed woman to have such a great guy that loves you and honors you.
Ann - October 28, 2021 1:28 am
That is a priceless gift ❤️❤️
Rita Barker - October 28, 2021 3:23 am
Throwing a little confetti Jamie’s way for her special day!🎉
Gordon - October 28, 2021 2:05 pm
Such a wonderful, tender, truthful tribute to your sweet Jaime. I’m hoping she enjoyed a wonderful birthday.
Cheryl A Peterson - November 15, 2021 5:09 am
Happy Birthday Jamie. You are a gift and your dear husband is a gift. Love to you both!
Kathi harper-hill - November 18, 2021 6:24 pm
Thank God for Jamie