MARGARET BRADFORD: Hi, Sean, I am disappointed in you… I found several typos and errors in your recent columns. I have no tolerance for bad grammar and elementary mistakes… I taught English for 42 years in the Illinois public school system and these mistakes aggravate me. Maybe it’s a Southern thing to treat English flippantly, but I promise you, here in the Midwest, we take our language seriously.
COMMENT: Your absolutely right. I apoligise.
JOHN NORMAN: Sean, I am a full-time pastor in Oklahoma. I notice you so often write about beer and alcohol, and this grieves my spirit. I believe this conflicts with your message of faith and hope.”
COMMENT: Hi, John. You are definitely not Episcopal.
SANDRA: In your recent story about heaven and hell I detected DOUBT in your words! My heart tells me you KNOW HELL IS REAL and if you have NOT MADE A PUBLIC profession to follow OUR SAVIOR, I’m sorry, but you’re going TO HELL! Why not PUBLICLY make a profession of faith right now? Here is my phone number, if you ever want to talk!”
COMMENT: You aren’t Episcopal, either.
BRIAN SCHMIDT: Good works won’t get you to heaven, Sean. Are you saved?
COMMENT: I wish people worried about unadopted foster kids half as much as they worried about my soul.
CHELSEA: You haven’t written about your dogs in a while. Are they okay? I love Marigold, the blind hound. How is she?
COMMENT: She’s good. She has a minor skin rash, so we took her to the vet. They love Marigold at the vet’s office, they always say, “Marigold is SUCH A JOY!”
Anyway, the vet said the rash is nothing to worry about so they prescribed ointment which costs roughly the price of a nuclear submarine, and they put her on steroids, which makes her thirsty, so now she makes “such a joy” all over the kitchen floor.
CHRINA ALLEN: My 82-year-old mother recommended your blog, but I will be unsubscribing as I don’t understand the appeal of your work. Personally, I think some of what you write is just nonsensical.
COMMENT: This isn’t the airport, there is no need to announce your departure.
JOHN RANDOLPH: I grew up in Ohio on Lake Erie. I took offense to your writing about the smell of dead fish in our air. The rotten fish smell is totally normal. It’s a phenomenon known as a ‘fish kill,’ in which large groups of fish die in huge numbers due to overpopulation, algae, or increased water temperatures. The occasional putrid smell is all part of living here. You get used to it.
COMMENT: Well, you certainly sold me. You ought to write for tourism brochures.
SAMANTHA: What is your problem with mega churches? You called them “Six-Flags Over Jesus” in one of your columns and this hurt my heart. Mega churches serve a real need and help young people worship in a new way that is true and authentic.
COMMENT: The particular church I was referring to had a fog machine.
ADAM: Which places are on your bucket list? Choose one spot in the entire world to visit, where would it be?
COMMENT: The Leinenkugel Brewery in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin.
RUTH ANN: You said in one of your columns that “Miracle Whip is neither a miracle nor a whip.” I was hurt by that since I grew up eating Miracle Whip. I still eat it on bananas and toast every morning for breakfast. Why do you feel the need to criticize?
COMMENT: Wait. Bananas?
SAMUEL MCMAHON: Did you know there are typos in your last story? Can you spot the typos? You wrote:
“By the Fourth of July,” stated the National Weather Service, “the ‘feels-like’ temperature is going to reach approxxoiimateleeey 118 degrees.”
COMMENT: Sorry. I don’t see it.
RYAN PRESNELL: Sean, I was just wondering who your favorite writer is? And which book can you recommend? I am 14 and I want to write someday like you.”
COMMENT: Do yourself a favor. Go to your local library. Tell the librarian you want a book called “Kathy Sue Loudermilk, I Love You.” If they don’t have it, ask for another book by this author. If they don’t know who this author is, leave the Midwest.
GRACE ANDRESS: I am 11 years old and my dog just died and do you think dogs go to heaven?
COMMENT: I’m not the guy to ask, sweetie. There are, however, many folks out there who seem to know exactly where souls will end up, including my soul. But I can certainly tell you this much:
Wherever the dogs go is where I’m going, too.
14 comments
Janice Greenwood - July 6, 2023 7:17 am
Sean, I have enjoyed your columns and books for a couple of years now. Thanks for them. I was pleased to see your recommendation of a Lewis Grizzard book. I still miss him and many of his stories and phrases often come to mind.
Mimi Barnett - July 6, 2023 7:27 am
Fantastic news. Leinenkugel Brewery in Chippewa Falls, WI provides a “Paws and Pints on the Patio,” the last Thursday of the month where your dog can accompany you and they collect food, etc for the local humane society. Jamie, and of course Marigold, will love it, as I suspect you will!!! ❤️❤️❤️
stephen e acree - July 6, 2023 11:01 am
One of your best. Made me laught out loud and I am still smiling. Like you, Lewis was a treasure. And this is a gator fan talking. Reminds me of a famous Lewis quote : That dog will bite you”
You made my morning with this one. Thanks again, Sean.
Susiebelle - July 6, 2023 12:26 pm
I have two points. First, Rev Billy Graham remarked “ God wants us to be happy in Heaven. If it takes my dog being there, he will be there”. I believe him.
Second, what part of “Judge not…” do some folks not understand?
Julie Hall - July 6, 2023 1:03 pm
Handled with grace and professionalism, Sean. You ARE a rockstar. I’ll tell you this, I am certainly more concerned about the log in my own eye, than I am any tiny little speck in yours.
Jolie - July 6, 2023 3:36 pm
I just found your blog, I guess I have been living under a rock. I am now addicted to getting my daily dose every morning. This one made me laugh out loud, and I agree with you wherever, the dogs go, I want to go there too.
Jolie - July 6, 2023 3:36 pm
I just found your blog, I guess I have been living under a rock. I am now addicted to getting my daily dose every morning. This one made me laugh out loud.
Rene Gilliland - July 6, 2023 5:07 pm
Your favorite author has long been a favorite of mine. You remind me a lot of him. You even love your Marigold like he loved his Catfish.
Lori C. - July 6, 2023 6:46 pm
Isn’t it amazing how judgey people are?!? To take time out of one’s day to point out “perceived” flaws? I truly hope you get way more accolades than complaints. But just in case you don’t, here’s one: you are awesome just the way you are. I love your stories and I hope to come to one of your events someday. As for the occasional spelling error? Must be nice to be so preferct.
JOHN SWETNAM - July 6, 2023 9:01 pm
Ms. Bradford may not approve of you’re writing, but I thing your great. You add happiness and reminders to keep my gratitude topped off every day. Thanks, John
Audra Sue Holden Isenhour - July 6, 2023 11:38 pm
I have been reading your blog for, well since I read the first one…this is silly. You have made me laugh a lot, cry a bit, I have never tried to do the job that belongs to God. Judging is way above my pay grade. You, Jamie, and Marigold have blessed so many people. Those who complain can just get over it!! Be happy and know you touch hearts.
Linda Everett - July 7, 2023 3:43 am
Sean, how can your fans get a copy of your scheduled shows, where and when?
Dee Thompson - July 7, 2023 1:28 pm
Ha! I know a lot of these were annoying to you, and maybe even hurtful, but it shows that people ARE reading. Just as an FYI, not a criticism, when you tell off the bible thumpers it should be “You’re not an Episcopalian.” I am a lifelong Episcopalian — and I love that we never ask anyone if they are “saved.”
Johnny in Mobile - July 15, 2023 9:02 pm
Nice! Very nice! I wish I could be as gracious and witty to the good, the bad, and the ugly as you are. I’m workin’ on it. Thanks!