Lessons From a Coonhound

[dropcap]I[/dropcap]t is possible to learn life lessons from a dog. I have compiled a short list of things I have learned from Ellie Mae, our coonhound.

– It’s rude to leave a box of granola bars in the pantry. Leave them on the floor where they are easily accessible to the rest of the family.

– Music is a reason to howl.

– Nothing is better than an empty bladder. Except for granola bars.

– Guests who visit the house are professional masseuses in disguise.

– The only thing more delicious than a coon, is a coon that’s still alive. That, and granola bars.

– When leaping off a moving boat, it’s important to jump off the back, never the front.

– You don’t have to say a word to console someone.

– Truck rides are the greatest experiences on the planet. This is especially true if the windows are rolled down.

– There’s no better time to go outside than when baseball is on TV. Scratch on the door to get your point across. Bark and howl if necessary.

– Being loved is the best thing that can ever happen to you. Hands down.

– The worst thing that can ever happen to you is iceberg lettuce.

– Eat until you are good and sick. Until you vomit. Then eat some more. It’s a long way until supper. You might not survive.

– Blessed is the dog who has an owner who likes naps, and hates the vacuum.

– Only fools throw away apple cores and shrimp shells.

– People will come along and pee in your porcelain water bowl. That’s life. To get back at them, steal their granola bars.

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