A dinner rush. There’s a line of young, fashionably dressed people in this fancy restaurant, waiting for tables. Actually, it's more like an angry mob with skinny jeans and low blood sugar.
I’d rather go to a Waffle House, if you ask me, but my wife is hellbent on eating here.
There’s a child ahead of me. He's with his parents. He’s an animated kid. I notice him because he is wearing a leather football helmet—the kind college lineman wore in the ‘20’s.
I ask the kid about the piece of nostalgia on his noggin.
The child seems uncomfortable. He doesn’t look me in the eye. He looks at the wall and says in a loud voice, “My linebacker hat.”
I ask if he’s a linebacker for the Tigers.
"No,” he says. “I just like hats.”
Well, as it happens I am a hat man myself. For my first day of school I wore a ten-gallon hat, chaps, and holster.
My teacher stopped me at the classroom door, reminding me that gentlemen never wear hats inside. Then, she told
me to check my iron at the door.
It was to be the last day I ever wielded dual peacemakers.
“We have TONS of hats,” says the boy’s mother. “My husband was online last night ordering a hundred more.”
She explains that her son has autism. He also has a major stockpile of headwear. Sailor hats, baseball hats, flight gear, astronaut caps, stocking caps, even a genuine Auburn football helmet.
“At first,” she said. “We couldn’t get him to wear ANYTHING on his head. It would make him freak out. But then, something changed.”
It started with a knit cap she bought from Target. Her son liked the color of it. He wore it until the thing started to fall apart.
One day, her husband found a leather gridiron helmet in an antique store. He bought it to decorate his home…