I started reading your blog last month because some of my students follow you on Instagram and said you were “cool,” but honestly, sir, you disappoint me somewhat.
Some of your writing is nothing but flippance and poor attempts at humor that is sometimes inappropriate, and even sacreligious...
The purpose of this email is to encourage you to abandon irreverence and cheap teenage humor, and stop using fragment sentences!
Do yourself proud, Sean. Emulate the great American authors of our time, and really put yourself into it. And just like I tell my students, “If you continue to work hard, you might even get a book published.”
I’m sorry if this offends you, but I tell the truth for a living,
I’m afraid you’re right about me, ma’am. I’ll admit, I’m not much of a role model. But I’d like to think I’m a nice guy. And maybe that counts for something.
You’re not alone in how you feel about me. I have a long track record of disappointing teachers.
kindergarten teacher was leading the class in singing “America the Beautiful,” and my bladder was suddenly filled with the Holy Spirit.
I raised my hand.
My teacher said, “You’re gonna have to hold it.”
So I squeezed my thighs together and prayed. But by the time our class had started singing “I’ve Got Peace Like a River” I had already made a peaceful river all over the floor.
When I was in fifth grade, my teacher told me I was a hopeless writer. I won’t go into details because they don’t matter. She suggested I give up the craft altogether. So, I followed her suggestion.
I believed this woman’s opinion of me. That’s part of the unspoken agreement between educators and students—students trust those who stand before chalkboards.
And when an…