Did I hear her right? Why yes. I think I did.

The college girl in the booth behind me just whispered something to her girlfriend.

“Jennifer,” she said. “Did you see our waitress’ tattoo? It’s all over her hand.”

“Gross,” the other girl whispered. “Who tattoos their own hand? Could our server be any more trailer trash?” Then she giggled.

Trailer trash?

Well now. Hang on just a hot minute. Before we get to name-calling, I’d like do a little talking. Yes sir. If we’re going to tell it like it is, I want to join the fun.

First off: I’ll bet she does live in a trailer. You can tell things like that by the way folks talk. All uneducated-like. God. Don’t you hate that, girls? Trailer-trash folks sound like ignorant hillbillies.

And did you get a look at her bad teeth? She flashes that ugly grin all over the place. I don’t know why the wretch even bothers to smile. Oh sure, she’s worked three back-to-back shifts. Who cares? That’s no excuse for not seeing a dentist. Yep, she’s trailer trash all right. Tattooed hands and all.

Let’s pick apart her physique, too. Oh fiddle, you’ve beaten me to it. You’ve already insulted her backside a few times, chuckling underneath your breath when she walks away. You girls are a riot.

But you’re more than that. You’re absolutely right about this woman. She’s garbage. Human waste. Cosmic debris. The only things hussies like her are good for is popping out fatherless babies, tattooing their own hands, and waiting tables. I can’t bear to look at her.

Say, you know what you fine young ladies ought to do? You should teach this toothless hick a lesson. I’ve got just the idea.

After you respectable girls finish your breakfasts, leave her a single-dollar tip. Just one buck. No more, no less. It’s perfect. She’ll never see it coming. She’s expecting at least a five-dollar bill. When she sees that dollar, it’ll just crush her.

Then, exit the restaurant as carefree as you please, giggling to beat the band.

But then, you’ve already done that.

Well. I guess that’ll teach her to go tattooing the name of her dead toddler all over her hand.

Good work, girls.

1 comment

  1. Connie - February 19, 2018 1:45 pm

    Whoa. You just made me want to slap the heck out of some college girls.


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