DEAR SEAN:
I've got a son off at college, for two years. He never calls and hardly texts. Holidays and birthdays have gone by without even a text.
We drove to his college twice and he was too busy to see us. I thought we had a great relationship. Always gave him love and support.
Recently, we found out he was visiting town with his girlfriend and he didn't even let us know or come by.
Any advice?
HURTING DAD
DEAR HURTING:
I have a letter for your son:
On my birthday last year, I sat on my porch and watched the sky. I sipped beer, took deep breaths, and counted stars.
I was thinking about a dead man. But I wasn’t sad—sadness wore off many years ago. I was lonely. And loneliness never fully goes away.
A little about me:
I learned how to drive stick-shift on my own. I learned how to tie a necktie by reading a book. I never learned to shave.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that the biggest parts of my life happened
without my father.
For instance, when I was younger, I bought a truck. I presented a boxful of cash to the lady selling it. It was a big day.
When she handed me the title, I was king of the Wiregrass. I wanted to tell Daddy about it. I wanted someone to be proud of me.
No dice.
And my wedding, of course. I was alone that day, too. I stood in the groom’s dressing room. I looked at my reflection and talked to myself.
“You’re a good boy, Sean,” I said aloud. I pretended it was Daddy saying those words.
And when I finished writing my first book. My wife threw a small party. There were illegal amounts of biscuits, tomato gravy, Conecuh Quickfreeze sausage, and Hank Williams music. Family. Friends. Layer cake.
But…