[dropcap]J[/dropcap]amie loves visiting the grocery store. See, some folks go to the movies, or bowling. Not Jamie. On vacation, she slaps her lipstick on and goes to the nearest Publix.
I think what she enjoys most is giving employees a hard time. Especially awkward young men who are somewhat lazy and have pissy attitudes.Yesterday, one such young man was about to get a blessing.It all started when Jamie looked through the ice cream cooler. What she wanted was salted caramel ice cream, but all they had was vanilla. And Jamie would rather eat a day-old raccoon drumstick than vanilla ice cream.
“Excuse me sir,” she said to the Publix employee. “Do you have any more caramel ice cream in the back?”
He turned and gave her the same bewildered look your drunk aunt gives you when it’s getting close to bedtime.
He shrugged his shoulders.
“What does that mean?” Jamie shot back.
“It means I don’t know,” said Herman Munster.
Jamie squinted her eyes at him. “Have you gone back to look?”
“Oh, then you must have a long inventory list in that brain of yours?”
He shook his head.
“Hmmm, well that can only mean one thing.” She crossed her arms.
“Sure, it means you have a fancy truck, and more money than Jesus Christ. And this job is something your momma made you do because you’re too old to be sitting home playing video games. Furthermore, your truck is probably loud as $#!%.”
“Yeah.” I added. “With a killer stereo and superb gas mileage.”