DEAR SEAN:
My mom and dad are getting divorced and my dad is leaving us, it makes me so sad, and my brother is going away for college, too, so I won’t have him anymore starting soon.
Then my doctor told me I have a problem with my heart valve and I’m doing all sorts of tests for it. They say not to worry because it's only a small thing, but I am so scared about everything.
Help me,
SCARED IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR SCARED:
After my father’s suicide, I was scared. Very scared. My mother, my sister, and I were all terrified. I can't even tell you why, exactly.
And it was worse at night. We slept in the same bedroom for many years. I slept on the floor, at the foot of Mama’s bed.
Before bedtime, I’d push a dresser in front of her bedroom doorknob.
Irrational, I know.
But that’s fear. It makes you do strange things. And after someone dies—or when parents divorce, or when you get sick,
or when someone hurts you—you get bucketfuls of fear.
One night, my mother heard a crash downstairs. I grabbed a baseball bat—the same slugger I won regional championships with.
I walked the dark house barefoot. I trembled so that I could hardly hold the bat. My heart beat hard.
I saw glowing eyes in the kitchen. Our outdoor cat had gotten trapped indoors. She jumped onto the refrigerator and knocked something over.
I almost vomited. I dropped the bat. I collapsed on the floor and cried until my ears rang.
So, I’m the wrong fella to ask about how to not be afraid. I can’t tell you how because I don’t know.
But I can…