DEAR SEAN:
I don’t like your writing because you are a dumbass.
Thanks,
I DON’T CARE IF YOU USE MY NAME
DEAR I’M-NOT-GONNA-USE-YOUR-NAME-COME-HELL-OR-HIGH-WATER:
Let’s go back in time.
Now, of course, I don’t know your story, but let’s be theoretical here. Pretend your mother and father just met. The circumstances which brought them together don’t matter. Your parents probably feel something for each other.
This feeling is something I want to talk about. A feeling that gets stronger with each heartbeat. A warm, happy, thick, dripping, hot feeling.
Scientists might call it “energy.” We common folk call it “love.”
Whatever you call it, it is an intelligent thing, programmed into the body. A force greater than even your parents.
So one day, inside the dark and hushed womb of your mother, a fertilized embryo floats the white-water rapids of her insides. That loveable little egg manages to attach itself to a uterine wall.
Then, the Little Egg That Could, starts producing NEW CELLS. Each cell the SAME SIZE as its original zygote. And this eventually becomes you.
I know. This is almost too boring to stand.
So let’s use simple language here: one small act of love made YOUR cells appear out of NOWHERE.
In other-other words: you’re a miracle. And it was love-energy that made you.
You are a walking-talking collection of organs, a central nervous system, a conscience, and a receding hairline. Because of love.
You are a soul, and souls can be all sorts of things. They can be thoughtful, hardworking, ambitious, easygoing, understanding, or Southern Baptist. Souls have the power to be kind, or to be hateful.
But as we just discovered, hatefulness goes against your very anatomy. Every cell in your human corpus is made with love.
Every last drop of hydrogen, oxygen, carbon, calcium, phosphorus, and interstitial fluid. Love. Love. And more love. You sir, are a steaming pile of love.
The love that made you is in your DNA. That’s not an opinion, it’s biology 101, pal. You carry an entire ancestry inside your nucleotides.
Don’t believe me? Look at your ancestors throughout history. Their offspring survived droughts, floods, flu, starvation, civil wars, hurricanes, tornadoes, disease, and The Lawrence Welk Show.
Something strong held their ancestry together. Some kind of glue. The same thing that holds this soil together.
The same thing that caused your daddy’s daddy’s daddy to fall in love with your mother’s mother’s mother. The same power inside every corpuscle of your body.
So let’s talk about me for a second. I am many things. I’m a necleuic acid sequence encoded as chromosome pairs, wrapped in a mitochondria.
But you can call me Sean. I am the result of John and Janice Sue, who fell in love too young. Whose parents wouldn’t allow them to marry.
My father crawled on steel buildings. My mother worked. Doctors told my mother she couldn’t get pregnant, but she did. And one winter night at 10:06 P.M. I was born.
The same love that made you, made me. Thus, I am not a dumbass. And neither are you. We are sophisticated products of explosive energy that peppers the pea-picking universe. We are miracles of love.
And dammit, we ought to act that way.
Thanks for the letter.
79 comments
Jacquie - November 2, 2017 7:52 am
Amen!!! You Sir Sean are a genius!!! I love your writings and some day we are determined to meet your greatness in person. Xoxo
Susan Hammett Poole - November 2, 2017 7:56 am
WOW ~ powerfully written and dynamically delivered ~ love it.
Melanie Howell - November 2, 2017 8:41 am
Love it!!!!
Ernie Tompkins - November 2, 2017 8:49 am
You are actually quite brilliant! What a beautifully crafted response. Thank you!
Patsy - November 2, 2017 8:58 am
Well! Well!!! That was just awesome??
Val Royed - November 2, 2017 9:21 am
Hey now—–my Grandma and I bonded while watching Laurence Welk—it had its uses! ?
Love this!
Jmwmson - November 11, 2017 7:25 pm
My father played trumpet in a dance band in his younger years, and he and I enjoyed watching The Lawrence Welk Show, too! Now, regarding that “…daddy’s daddy’s daddy to fall in love with your mother’s mother’s mother…” comment. It sounds like he is his own incestuous cousin! 🙂
Sharon Reaves - November 2, 2017 9:56 am
So impressed with your ability to Rise Above the hate!! Keep on writing, your way. There are those of us who look forward to it everyday.
Carole Lea - November 2, 2017 10:42 am
Beautifully said! I so enjoyed hearing you at the Episcopal Church of the Nativity in Dothan, AL and I love reading your daily writings. Thank you for making my day better each and every day.
Shirley J Brown - November 2, 2017 10:45 am
It’s ironic that I don’t believe in coincidences, but I’ve always believed in pea pickin’ coincidences. Must be a ‘southern’ thing.
candyalso - November 2, 2017 11:28 am
If you are a dumbass, then we should all aspire to be dumbasses, just like you!
Joel A Hill - November 2, 2017 11:38 am
ABSOLUTELY!!!
Carlin Brooks - November 30, 2017 3:42 pm
Amen!!!
millie pinckard - November 2, 2017 11:48 am
if you don’t like his writing then don’t read it
Virginia - November 2, 2017 11:48 am
Great answer and I am a loving person, but I’m also a Southern Baptist where I learned about loving even when I didn’t want to. What have you got against them? LOL. (kidding).
Suzette Allen - November 2, 2017 11:55 am
Love. Love. Love. Love. ❤️
Patricia Schmaltz - November 2, 2017 11:55 am
For people like whats-his-toes, I feel pity. They don’t know what they don’t know! Hey, I saw the movie, “The Shack” last night and thought of you. Hubby and I are in a hotel room in Warner Robbins, GA, feeling the thrill (not) of a TV you can watch from the heavily downed bed. Good movie – have tissues close at hand. If you ever make a movie of your life, have Octavia Spencer play you. She can wear a red wig. LOVE her.. and LOVE YOU too!
Susan Winnop - November 2, 2017 12:01 pm
Another masterpiece! I so enjoy reading, pondering and smiling at your writings!
Connie - November 2, 2017 12:27 pm
I just love you. I don’t know why people choose to be mean or rude. My momma always said if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. I think some mommas didn’t get that message across. Have a good day, and keep being you. Most of us love you and look forward to reading your words every day.
Jane - November 2, 2017 12:32 pm
I love you and the fact that you are always encouraging and uplifting …. even to those that cannot help themselves but to be negative and hateful. Keep up the good work and I look so forward to reading your posts every day! Love you to the moon and back!
Terri Thorn - November 2, 2017 12:40 pm
AWESOME–LY written there Sean! I couldn’t agree more myself! Thank You Again! Another GREAT!! ??
gary - November 2, 2017 12:40 pm
Nice capture of the oozing nuanced paradox we find ourselves smack dab in the middle of… starting with womb-time, headed toward eggnog looks like… sweetness!
Lucy Thomas - November 2, 2017 12:49 pm
Why the hell would anybody call you a dumdass?
Tim Parker - November 2, 2017 1:06 pm
What a wonderfully kind reply to such a harsh bitting letter.
May God continue to bless you sir.
Chelsey smith - November 2, 2017 1:09 pm
Heaping coals much? ?
Gordon - November 2, 2017 1:20 pm
Awesome answer, Sean!!! You heaped a bunch of love on that person – just like more people should do in our society.
Beverly Pennell - November 2, 2017 1:24 pm
Love ALWAYS wins. Thanks for the reminder.
Jon Dragonfly - November 2, 2017 1:37 pm
Dear I DON’T CARE IF YOU USE MY NAME:
Look in the upper right corner of this, and every, web page. There’s a big red X. If you don’t like Sean’s writing, click it. If you don’t…..then who’s the dumbass?
Jon
Kathy Burgess - November 2, 2017 1:38 pm
Goodness, Sean, Did you teach college biology? That was a great answer. I would have just said, “And you, Sir, are an idiot.” Beverly Pennell comment sums it up best.
Love always wins. I pray every day that Jesus will help me change. I would rather have LOVE as my first response instead of idiot. (sigh) We will always be a work in progress.
Sylvia Sykes - November 2, 2017 1:46 pm
Great response, Sean!
Frieda - November 2, 2017 1:48 pm
You catch more flies with honey……
Beki Denison - November 2, 2017 1:50 pm
If (and that;s a HUGE word to only have 2 letters) you are indeed a dumbass, you are my favorite dumbass! Thanks for showing love everyday by sharing your thoughts and writings with us. You can make even difficult concepts easy to understand and daily situations that many of us never think twice about you cause us to pause and reflect on. Keep it up!
Sandra Smith - November 2, 2017 1:59 pm
MIKE DROP !!! ❤
molly - November 2, 2017 2:01 pm
Love it!!
Jacque Kochak - November 2, 2017 2:10 pm
Do people really write you these notes? Unbelievable!!
George Brannen - November 2, 2017 2:25 pm
nicest kiss my assets i have ever read. well played
Sue Cronkite - November 2, 2017 2:26 pm
This is absolutely your best column yet! Perfect. It, or something very close to it, was carved in stone many years ago. It is called the 10 Commandments. It instructs us to love our neighbor the same way we love ourselves. The guy who called you a dumbass obviously does not like himself very much. Keep writing, Sean.
Emily - November 2, 2017 2:35 pm
Love it, every damn time!!!
Nancy - November 2, 2017 2:37 pm
Doesn’t your heart just break for people that don’t know to love? He should combine to read Sean – he might learn something about love!
Ann(no e) Foley - November 2, 2017 2:40 pm
One of my favorites!
Erin Pepus - November 2, 2017 2:42 pm
I wake up every morning to Sean of the South… it starts my day better than any cup of coffee! Today made me laugh out loud… not sure which comment got me the most … Southern Baptists or Lawrence Welk!
Thank you, Sean…
Bob Hubbard - November 2, 2017 2:46 pm
And all God’s children said AMEN!
Jack Quanstrum - November 2, 2017 2:49 pm
Incredible response by you Sean. Informative and enlightening. Thank you for writing what you did today. It solidifies alot for me ! Keep those stories coming.
Sam Hunneman - November 2, 2017 3:09 pm
Yeah!
Hat’s off to you, hon. Way to take the high road!
Janet Mary Lee - November 2, 2017 3:12 pm
Best reply ever! You have been paying attention in some class, Sean! LOL!
Chris Lacy - November 2, 2017 3:19 pm
Just wow!!
Jakkki - November 2, 2017 3:21 pm
Beautifully crafted and articulate response Sean. Not bad for a dumbass!
Anne Godwin - November 2, 2017 3:38 pm
You make me smile.
Billie - November 2, 2017 3:55 pm
Sean, you are simply a gift to those of us who can’t write but do think.
However, I thought you were from Alabama. This sentence makes me question that:
“The same thing that caused your daddy’s daddy’s daddy to fall in love with your mother’s mother’s mother.”
Unless your tree is missing a few forks (common if you are from West Virginia – that’s just a joke, kind of), this seems dubious. Hopefully, your paternal and maternal lines show more separation.
But I get the sentiment.
teachenglish67 - November 2, 2017 3:57 pm
Dear Sean…..you put the best criticism into the correct perspective. One of your readers said on her that they wake up to your column. It got me to thinking…….it would be really nice to actually have a time of the morning on radio where a station would have a recording of your daily column. Have you ever thought of promoting that? I’d love to hear it, as well as, read it. It’s a thought shared with you…..just as you share your thoughts and observations with us.
Smiles and Blessings to you….you bring so many to us.
Lois Young - November 2, 2017 4:22 pm
Ha Ha. “A steaming pile of love.” This is the best response to negative criticism I can ever remember reading. Love it. Thanks
Jan - November 2, 2017 4:23 pm
Once again, Amen and Amen!
Patricia Gibson - November 2, 2017 6:17 pm
Good response!
Sue - November 2, 2017 6:19 pm
This letter made me think of JD Salinger’s Franny and Zooey which I just reread after 50 years. Everything will make me think of it for a while. What a writer. As are you. And I like your mother’s name-a combination of my name and my aunt’s name. Where did you come from? And I don’t mean on planet Earth! I mean this as the highest of compliments and I think you are an extremely smart A… in the very best of ways. Thank you for your writing today and all days. I share it often
Rosie - November 2, 2017 6:53 pm
Very well said, my friend. What a nice way to tell somebody off! Thank you for being you.
SGM - November 2, 2017 8:07 pm
Comments such as “I don’t care if you use my name” wrote are puzzling to me…puzzling in much the same way as the person who reads a posted recipe, then critiques what’s wrong with it. Such an obvious solution…don’t read “Sean of the South” and choose another recipe. Of course we know it’s not about the written words of “Sean of the South” or the recipe. It so much deeper and mores the pity.
Your words touch my heart, Sean. Every day your words touch my heart.
Susie
Anne Sturdevant - November 2, 2017 10:53 pm
Love your columns, HOWEVER if your fathers fathers fathers fell in love with your mothers mothers mother, sounds like inbreeding going on. Still it was a beautiful column.
paula jones - November 3, 2017 12:48 am
LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE! Great response that (1) demonstrates who you really are, and (2) is worthy of Jesus.
william vessier - November 3, 2017 2:39 am
I’m not sure, but when I read retorts like this, I think of “Julia Sugarbaker”…..great response, Sean!!!!
Michael Hawke - November 3, 2017 2:40 am
Well said.
Marty from Alabama - November 3, 2017 2:50 am
You are amazing. You took this young whippersnapper and told him just how it is. Hope he understood it all and will re-think his thinking. Thanks, again, for about the hundredth time.
Thomas Wildon - November 3, 2017 12:01 pm
Sean, you are wrong. This guy is, in fact, a dumbass. He is so dumb he cannot seem to get the fact that he could stop reading your column or simply unsubscribe. Yep, he is a dumbass.
Tommy
Pat Maruca - November 3, 2017 8:15 pm
I’m a retired teacher and wish I had had a copy of this to read to several students who spoke like this. When they would say, “You don’t like me,” I would give back, “yes, I do like you. I love everyone …. but I don’t like your actions or behavior. I want you to think about that.” Good one, Sean.
Anne Trawick - November 3, 2017 8:39 pm
Priceless.
kathi hill - November 13, 2017 10:45 pm
I barely survived The Lawrence Welk Show. Whew!
Jill Rosales - November 30, 2017 9:42 am
WAY classier than F-U… which probably would have been my response. You’re a good man. I feel I’m nicer to people when I read your stuff first thing in the morning. Thanks for that.
Laura Goslee - November 30, 2017 10:00 am
Rocking the love! Thank you.
Christina Wittmer - November 30, 2017 12:00 pm
Love this today! My grand-parents LOVED Lawrence Welk and since I spent a lot of time there, so did I, not so much now though lol!
Patrick - November 30, 2017 2:02 pm
I write little “thoughts and stories” and post them on facebook. My followers say they love my words.. However, after running across your “writings” I am in awe of you.. in my opinion, you are the best of the best. I look forward everyday to your emails and facebook postings. I can’t get enough of your thoughts and words. Whatever you are doing, keep doing it… As the old saying goes, “ifin it ain’t broke, don’t be fixin it”….
Donald Dye - November 30, 2017 2:31 pm
It takes all kinds to make the world, it would be boring if we were all alike, too bad there has to be people like this in the mi. My mother always told me “if you cannot be nice – be quiet”, That is what this gentleman should do………. Love your writing – keep it up and more power to you……………..
unkle - November 30, 2017 7:05 pm
you know that is still a great article. You have a cool way of explaining how the cow ate the cabbage. uk
Phil Blackwell - November 30, 2017 9:41 pm
Nice to know Trump voters read your work, Sean. Keep talking to ‘em, buddy, and one day, they might come to Jesus!
WB Henley - December 3, 2017 4:03 pm
Dear Sean,
Now I don’t know the story of Mr. Don’t Care if You Use My Name either. But I know plenty of folks fed more with vinegar than honey. We probably all know someone whose mother or mother’s mother or mother’s mother’s mother was forced to create a life she didn’t want, even though we seldom know their secret. Many of us know children of addicts, way too many of them, whose parents didn’t give a damn about anything but a few moments of pleasure. We know people incapable of love, even in the throes of unbridled passion.
No, you’re wrong. Not everybody is conceived in love. That’s just a fairy tale.
But you know what I like about you? You write about those who make a choice to see the good and pass it on. That’s where the true miracle resides! It lives in the child of the rapist who becomes a nurse. It lives in the addicts’ daughter who abhors self-pity. It lives in the forgotten man on the street who still lifts his face to the sun. It buoys the soul of those with every reason to be bitter but who still choose to taste the sweetness.
So no, we are not necessarily conceived in love. I don’t believe we are born with it. But somehow, most of us find it and grow in it and CHOOSE to give it away and receive more in return. That’s what you have the gift to see and to so eloquently illustrate for the rest of us – to see love and pass it on. And that’s what I love about you!
WB
Judy - March 14, 2018 2:22 pm
My first thought when I saw the beginning was just throw this trash away. You don’t have to read this stuff because it is only meant to tear you down. But … wow… you turned it over and around into teaching us how to respond with positivity.
Perhaps not every act of creation is out of love … but the miracle of creation is out of love.
Thank you for being you.
Sam Seetin - March 15, 2018 12:16 am
Meaning…Ornery red haired urchin, not a dumb arse, who morphed into a brilliant polymath with a soul.
Uncle Sam
Anne Arthur - January 9, 2020 3:06 am
Wow! That’s one answer! What a good thing your parents found each other to drop you into our midst. Nice piece! I thoroughly enjoy your style.
Carolyn Molyneux - January 9, 2020 4:22 am
Well said, Sean. Good one..
Alice - January 9, 2020 12:33 pm
Dear Sean yes you are love you are a wonderful writer and sweet soul and I love your writings and I love you God bless you
Janice, Silverhill, AL - January 9, 2020 4:49 pm
What a sad life this miserable person must live. Your response was perfect. If you can say something good, then don’t say it. You are a brilliant writer.