I can’t sleep. I am sixteen hundred miles from home (Alabama), and my grandmother isn’t doing well. I’m not mentally prepared for her to leave this earth. I’m having a hard time...
She and I are very close. If you could give me some comforting words, I would really appreciate it.
I wish I had words, but I don’t. Because nothing I could say would make things any better.
Sure, I could say, “You’re stronger than you think,” or something. But why should you believe a guy like me? I’m just an average Joe with crummy car insurance.
I DO have something special. And before I tell you what it is, you have to promise you won’t laugh.
No. I mean really promise.
I have a magic lamp.
Now, hold on. Before you shut off your phone, I’m serious. I bought a brass lamp at a flea market in New Orleans. When I saw it, I had to have it. It cost thirty-nine
bucks—you can’t put a price tag on genies.
Though, I haven’t used it yet. In fact, until just now I’d forgotten all about it. The thing has been in my garage.
Tonight, I’m going make a wish.
I know exactly what I’ll wish. I’m going to wish for everything go back to normal for you.
If you ask me—which you didn’t—there is nothing better than normalcy. Life has a way of screwing up normal, and it leaving everything abnormal and funky.
So if this magic lamp is the real deal, you and your granny are going to get plenty of normalcy back.
Also, I’m going to wish for the University of Alabama to win the Orange Bowl on my birthday, but whatever.
Growing up, my life was anything but normal. I…