Dear Sean

You are pretty dadgum special, you know that? As a matter of fact, on a scale of 1 to 10 you’re a 68. You have a lot to offer, friend.

DEAR SEAN:

I’m a 27-year-old guy, and I want to tell my neighbor that I’m in love with her, and I don’t know how. We’ve spent the last three years always together, walking dogs, and hanging out. She’s helped me through some tough times.

We have tons in common, and she likes my foot massages—that has to be a good sign, right?

Now she’s started seeing this new guy and I’m afraid it’s too late to tell her how I feel. He’s better-looking than me, and more successful… I’m 70 percent deaf, with health issues, including one run in with cancer, but now I’m in remission, I know I’m no prize catch.

I get that you’re busy, but I’d really like some advice,

HEARTSICK-IN-MONTGOMERY

DEAR HEARTSICK:

I’m inside the DMV right now, writing you on my phone. I’ve been here one hour. I’ve taken a number and I’m standing in line. My number is 68. They are now serving Number 07.

Seven.

Anyway, you did the right thing coming to me. I have extensive experience in the field of being a big, fat, frightened chicken. Which is exactly what you are. Welcome to the club, Colonel Sanders.

I once spent four weeks building up courage to ask Anna Moody to the movies.

“You wanna go to the movies?” I asked.

She said, “Hey, that sounds fun!”

I almost passed out.

Then she added, “Oh, you mean with YOU? I thought you meant as a group. Sorry, I gotta… Um… Clean the… Um… Freezer…”

Ever since then, I’ve been famously opposed to freezer cleaning.

But enough about me.

You like her, and it’s keeping you up at night. You lie in bed, replaying memories of massaging her sweaty, clammy feet.

It’s time to be courageous.

Now look, I’m no expert, but if you ask me, you are pretty dadgum special. As a matter of fact, on a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 68. You have much to offer this world.

For one thing, you have the capacity to love. Maybe that doesn’t seem all that special, but you’re wrong.

Some people let their souls dry up. They turn into petrified ghosts who despise life. They become depraved humans with festering insides and disdain for all that is holy. These people work at the DMV.

But back to you. You’re the Eighth Wonder of the World. A survivor of cancer. A fighter. You’re one of the special ones. Neither deafness, nor illness, nor Hell itself can stand in your way.

So about this fella she’s spending time with. So he’s better-looking. So he’s successful. So he has a summer condo in Orange Beach with stainless-steel appliances. Maybe he has two perfect ears, and perfect hair.

Doesn’t matter. Because YOU have something, too. You have what all imperfect people have. Experience. You’ve experienced pain. Heart-twisting love. Loss. Triumph. Winning. Losing. That makes you world famous in my book.

Besides, have you been to Orange Beach lately? Condominium association dues are astronomical.

So admittedly, I’m not the guy to ask about this sort of thing. I’m a high-school dropout who never felt he had much to offer the world.

Still, I know a thing or two about love. And so do you.

Thus, I hope you love yourself enough to be courageous. And, by God, hold your head high. Be proud of your deafness, of your broken body, and your cancer.

You’re a beautiful human being. And I’m in your corner.

This girl might throw her arms around you; or she might not. You owe it to yourself to find out.

Good luck. And remember that I love you.

If you need me, you can find me at the DMV. They are now serving Number 11. I will die in this room.

34 comments

  1. Nix LaVerdi - July 29, 2018 5:54 am

    You are simply awesome.
    -Nix

    Reply
  2. Leslie in NC - July 29, 2018 8:41 am

    Your advice to this young man, given about love with a good dose of humor is spot on! Apparently, he and his lady friend get along just fine since they’ve been “hanging out” for 3 years together, even with his deafness. And any guy who can give a good foot massage is gold in my book! Go get her, young man!

    Reply
    • Melanie - July 29, 2018 1:33 pm

      @Leslie amen to that girl 🙌🏻

      Reply
  3. Amanda - July 29, 2018 11:48 am

    Morning Sean- I hope this message helps this young man out. And I hope once she realizes that he is perfect for him they will live Happily Ever After… I wish them both the best in life…

    Reply
  4. ponder304 - July 29, 2018 11:52 am

    Wonderful words….you always come through.

    Reply
  5. Nancy Jones - July 29, 2018 11:59 am

    Made my day again Sean!!! You are simply awesome as Nix said!!

    Reply
  6. cronkitesue - July 29, 2018 12:21 pm

    Wonderful words of encouragement. Let us know how it turns out. Maybe she’s dating the other guy to wake up the slow-poke she wants.

    Reply
  7. GaryD - July 29, 2018 12:46 pm

    If he doesn’t ask her, he will always regret it. He just needs encouragement. I hope he takes your advice.

    Reply
  8. Karen - July 29, 2018 12:47 pm

    I once met a blind guy who melted my heart. He wasn’t classically handsome, but he had a sense of humor and a kind spirit. I started hanging out with him, hoping he would be interested in me. I learned that he was already in a relationship, so I missed out.
    Thank you for encouraging Heartsick In Montgomery. He sounds like quite a catch to me.
    Hope you finally got served at the DMV.

    PS – I looked up Cahaba Lilies yesterday. They are unique and beautiful.

    Reply
  9. Melanie - July 29, 2018 1:32 pm

    Lord have mercy son if I had a man who walked with my dogs and me AND massaged my feet I’d be head over heels. She doesn’t know a good thing when it is staring her in the face. So…maybe she and her dog don’t deserve you sweetie ❤️ Sending hugs from all the way out here in Krazy Kalifornia (but don’t hold it against me now! family base is L.A. Lower Alabama!)

    Reply
  10. Connie - July 29, 2018 2:16 pm

    😂….we share the same sentiments about the DMV! You are undoubtedly the best way to start the day!

    Reply
  11. Katherine - July 29, 2018 2:37 pm

    Great advice, Sean.

    Self confidence and courage is VERY attractive in the game of love and every other aspect of life.

    The young man you wrote about this morning is a winner, no doubt.

    Deafness and cancer will not defeat him.

    Reply
  12. Jack Quanstrum - July 29, 2018 2:40 pm

    Thank you for your humorous writing, but your serious and profound advice! Very good reading and down to earth!

    Reply
  13. Sylvia - July 29, 2018 3:10 pm

    Wow…cruel comments about the people who work at the DMV! Not something I would expect from you.

    Reply
  14. Judy Riley - July 29, 2018 3:28 pm

    Great advice Sean….this guy is worth more than he knows. Hope you made it out of the DMV!! Keep up the good work and words!!

    Reply
  15. Susie, too - July 29, 2018 4:15 pm

    Not that I have anything for or against the DMV but most people would realize your comments about them were made in jest. Always look forward to your posts!

    Reply
  16. Mary Embler - July 29, 2018 4:40 pm

    You always make my day! Thanks!

    Reply
  17. Edna B. - July 29, 2018 4:52 pm

    Oh my gosh, you’ve brightened my day! I love how you intertwine good advice and hilarious humor. I hope this young man gets his lady love. Sean, you have an awesome day, hugs, Edna B.

    Reply
  18. Janet Mary Lee - July 29, 2018 5:05 pm

    Either way you are ahead when you at least try! Good advice and great reading! He sounds like a great person!

    Reply
  19. Max Smith - July 29, 2018 5:15 pm

    Great story. And you nailed it concerning the unholy people at the DMV, and about this young man being special.

    Reply
  20. Bette - July 29, 2018 5:36 pm

    PLEASE let us know how it turns out!

    Reply
  21. Pamela McEachern - July 29, 2018 7:36 pm

    She may be thinking why would a guy as strong as him be interested in her. Please…what are you waiting for. Life is fleeting and timing is everything. Even if you are in a stagnant line at the DMV.
    Peace and Love from Birmingham

    Reply
  22. Sherri Conrad McDonald - July 29, 2018 7:41 pm

    Do it! Tell her. If you don’t? You will always wonder.
    And please let us know what happens. We will either celebrate our commiserate with you.
    Joy shared multiplies and sorrow shared diminishes.

    Reply
  23. Jack Darnell - July 29, 2018 9:41 pm

    Well to start with, I know you are not in a FL DMV, they are special, I mean that. I have dealt with DMV in:VA,NC,MS,MO, yep not fun people there.
    But to mr shy, I think your advice is spot on. Give it a shot and feel good no matter the results….

    Reply
  24. Susan Jones - July 30, 2018 12:46 am

    Sean,
    You never cease to amaze me with you very insightful and yet loving replies to all us common folk. You identify with us. You are coming to Gardendale, Alabama on September 20th! I hope I can get a front row seat. You are like the brother I never had. I am the oldest of 3 girls and was raised in Blount County, Alabama. Life was hard back in t 🙂 e 60’s and 70’s in the rural community I was raised in. Life might have been hard but love of my family was fairly easy even though my sweet Momma was diagnosed with MS when I was 13. I had to grow up quick but it made me the strong woman I am today.
    I look forward to seeing you in Gardendale on September 20th, Good Lord willing and I hope to hug your neck and say “Thank you” for all your heartfelt and funny stories…your friend Susan Jones.

    Reply
  25. Amy - July 30, 2018 12:40 pm

    I love everything about this post…except that you might expire at the DMV. 😉

    Reply
  26. Jon Dragonfly - July 30, 2018 2:08 pm

    To “Heartsick-in-Montgomery”: Please write back and tell us how it turned out. All of us ‘Seans’ care.

    Reply
  27. Crystal Lovell - July 30, 2018 3:59 pm

    Yes, what Jon Dragonfly said.

    Reply
  28. Pam martin - July 31, 2018 12:53 am

    Please let us know how this goes. I think we’re all hoping for a happy ending here.

    Reply
  29. Louise Harris - August 1, 2018 10:17 pm

    Have you heard from him yet?

    Reply
  30. Mary Lee - August 2, 2018 4:43 pm

    Your words brighten my entire day. Thank you.

    Reply
  31. LARRY WALL - August 2, 2018 4:56 pm

    Well Sean, first I will admit that I thought that the story has its uplifting qualities to it. But, also, more than that, it proves to me that you are also a pretty good writer of fictional tales. The kind that are written to provide us with a moral from the story. And a good moral it was, one that many of us could have benefited from earlier in life. You have. And hopefully some still will.

    Reply
  32. Olivia - September 24, 2018 9:33 am

    “Besides, have you been to Orange Beach lately? Condominium association dues are astronomical.” ::snicker::

    Reply
  33. Suz - September 25, 2018 12:36 am

    I really, really REALLY hope this young gentleman writes you back and tells you how it went. I’m going to venture several women already asked you for his contact info.

    Reply

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