It was the night after Christmas, and Birmingham was quiet. I was on a walk through a neighborhood, watching street lights wink on at dusk.
The sunset was neon pink. There were sirens in the far-off. A distant train sounded its horn; two long, one short.
There were people walking dogs, old ladies watering ferns, and children riding scooters. And there were six kids playing a game of Wiffle Ball in their backyard.
“Heybatterbatterbatter…!” shouted the sweaty kids in the infield, punching their little hands.
“Swingbatterbatter…!”
The boy at the plate golfed one into right with his plastic bat.
“Throw him out!” shouted someone’s mom.
The throw was good.
“YOU’RE OUT!” shouted six kids in ecstatic unison.
The runner made the long walk of shame back to his mom’s lap and cried tears of sportsmanship.
Funny thing about Wiffle Balls. Not long ago, the State of New York declared that Wiffle ball, along with kickball and freeze tag, posed a “significant risk of injury” to kids. New York legislature decreed that any summer camp that included these activities
would be subject to government regulation.
Meanwhile, back at Wiffle Ball Inc. headquarters in Shelton, Connecticut, Wiffle employees probably thought this legislation was a prank.
Wiffle Ball dangerous? Wiffle Ball Inc. has been around for over half a century and has never—not once—been sued over safety issues. They have doled out over 60 million plastic balls since they opened their doors. There are Wiffle Balls on nearly every continent.
So people across the U.S. were ticked off about New York’s decision. They were vocal about it, too. They made a big stink, and they won. New York legislature finally removed Wiffle Ball from its list of regulated high-risk activities along with other allegedly dangerous sports like dodgeball, knitting, and Algebra II.
Anyway, as I walked past the kids playing Wiffle Ball, a stray plastic ball rolled onto the sidewalk and stopped only…